A
female
age
41-50,
*araBella
writes:My BF of one year was seeing other people when we first met. I knew he was sleeping with one friend of his and well as with me, but we weren't together back then and our relationship wasn't serious so I didn't worry about it, just used condoms.A few months after we became BF/GF he revealed that he had been sleeping with another friend of his as well, even having a threesome with both women. This second woman was introduced to me as "married with kids" while my BF and I were still just dating. I was really upset when I found out he'd been having sex with her too, (her husband and she were separated) but he didn't see anything wrong with it, cause we weren't actually together at that point. They've been friends for like 25 years and then I find out he took her virginity! She emailed him, called him, even sending nude pictures of herself (which he says he deleted without looking at), even when she knew we were together, once she told him *in front of me* that she was bringing her vibrator to a sex party that night. I told him it bothered me and that it wasn't ok that she go on thinking he was into her, so he told her to stop and it got a little better. But now, months and months later, they still chat on Facebook and she calls and talks about stuff like how she likes being in open relationships... getting him to talk about it too, I heard him say on the phone that he was "intrigued" by it "to say the least". Should I demand that they stop being friends? I don't trust her AT ALL! He wants to get a group together to go bowling, and he invited her!! WTF? I can't stop being paranoid and I feel like I'm crazy. Is my concern valid???? I know he loves me and wants to be with me, but this shit is not okay!
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condom, facebook, nude pictures, threesome, vibrator Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2009): You will never get anything you demand. But the bottomline is: You have a "boyfriend" but your relationship is still not serious. You cannot unilaterally make it serious; you will know he is serious when he finds his relationships with past lovers --chatting, giggling, discussing sex to be inappropriate and detrimental to your future. Enjoy your title, but I would still use condoms. Marriage is not around the corner with the way things sound.
A
female
reader, Emajayne  +, writes (31 January 2009):
 Your concern is extremely valid...but until u voice ur opinion it is worth nil. NIL! You need to tell him exactly what uve just told us on dearcupid.org or else he will continue to upset u without knowing it. I would especially stress the bit about u not wanting him to stop being friends with her and that u dont understand what exactly he is up to. I wouldn't understand eitehr, so u arent alone in being frustrated.
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