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My bf of 2 years never has time for me.

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Question - (31 October 2012) 3 Answers - (Newest, 1 November 2012)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Dear Cupid

I don't know whether I'm making big deal out of it or not. My bf of 2 years never has time for me. Whenever I call or send message he never responds. If he is busy can't he just send me a simple text so I wont call or wait for his call. I know I kind of sound clingy, but I'm not. I give him enough space but he never treats me good. Its like I'm just a convience for him, always blames me even if I call once a day too. If i dont call him he never does either. I like to spend some time with him. Is that too much to ask to respond to my text if I send any, btw I don't send text very often. Is that too much to ask. In LDR for 3 months, will be going back to home in a month

He was like this for past 1 year, in the start it was fun to be with him, now I'm scared even to talk my mind. Its like he always blame me for everything. Please help me

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (1 November 2012):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntSounds like a delightful "boyfriend"....

Why have you spent two years trying to be his "girlfriend"? and why bother spending even another minute trying to be his "girlfriend"?... when all you really are, to him, is a convenient s*x partner?

Good luck....

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A male reader, eddie85 United States +, writes (1 November 2012):

eddie85 agony auntWhat is he busy doing? Is he working on a career that could be potentially providing for your futures? Or is he spending more time with the boys at the bar? What is he so busy doing that he can't spend a few minutes each day with the woman he purportedly loves?

We all make priorities in life. What is most important is stuff that we do each day. Things that we love to do, receive our attention -- no matter what.

While it seems like you have a strong connection with your boyfriend, it would appear that the bond with him towards you isn't reciprocated.

I think you need to sort things out for yourself. Are you settling by accepting less than what you deserve from a man? Does your boyfriend make you a priority -- on any level -- in his life? Do you think he loves you and do you share the same visions of what the future holds for you as a couple? Do you communicate effectively? Can you express your concerns and fears and does he act defensively when he hears them or does he take stock and own parts of the problem?

I think you need to answer those questions for yourself -- without reservation or fears -- as painful as they may be. You certainly don't want to invest more time in a bad relationship and one that is going to leave you wanting a real and fulfilling love.

Eddie

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (31 October 2012):

kenny agony auntI know its hard, and its probably not what you want to hear, but i think that that maybe you should think about ending this relationship and moving on. There is no reason why he can't respond to your texts, no-one is that busy that they can't find one minute just to send a quick reply. It sounds like he does not even want to hear from you, blaming you for calling once a day. He is seriously finding excuses not to be with you, and he is obviously not man enough to tell you to your face what's going on. My advice would be to end this relationship and find someone who has got time for you, and who wants to see you, and who will give you all the love that you so rightly deserve.

Good luck

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