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female
,
anonymous
writes: I've been with my boyfriend for five years, on and off. The off times have been because after a while I tend to get bored and think I'm too young for committment and that I'm missing out on something. I'm 22.I always end up back with my fella. I do love him so much - he's my best mate, but I'm worried that's all he is.I've met another guy and realised how much of a spark we have - something I've never had with my boyfriend. I don't want to lose my boyfriend as we've been through so much together and I love him more than anything. But if we don't have that spark now what hope is there for the future?Should I dump him for this new man and hope that we can still be friends or persevere with the relationship?
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female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (28 November 2006):
 I bet he feels just like you, when relationships loose there spark it is usually felt by both parties it is just that the lines of communication are closed so we are not usually honest about such feelings.
Tell him you feel the spark has gone and ask if he feels the same.
You sound like you are staying with him out of habit and loyalty, not much to base a relationship on but if you still have some hope of passion then try and work it out, if not be honest with one another and this will help to ensure future frindship, call it a day and move on with the one who makes your head and heart spin, we only get one life (or one that we can remember) so going with your heart once in awhile instead of listening to your head is no bad thing.
A
male
reader, Learning2Love +, writes (28 November 2006):
 Sweety, that spark will soon fade after the dust settles and then you're left with someone that you might only be able to relate to on a physical level. Also remember that 95% of married life doesn't involve sex. That's when you need to have someone that's as close as what your bf and you are. Having said that, you need some chemistry between the two of you to make for a happy sex life.
But whichever way you decide, make sure that you deal with the spark issue on your own first and not take your bf through another one of your learning curves.
Good luck.
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