A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi I need some advice please. My best friend of almost 10years doesnt seem to open up to me anymore, or be all that interested in doing girls stuff together - since she started going out with her fella.They've been together for just over a year, and I have literally just found out - from HIM - that thy are buying a house together! quite far from our local area too. She didnt tell me, and I'm quite upset about that. I've been with my fella for a long time, and I have always found time for my friends, but she seems so distant. He seems like a bit of a control freak to me-she hasnt exactly said so though. Just a few things that have happened - he was seeing another one of our friends at the same time at the start of their relationship. From day 1 he wanted to buy a house with her...he's now turned her against our friend who he was seeing, yet shes still a good friend of his (??)...hes arranged for a room at the same hotel as me and my husband on our wedding night...hes booked the same flight out to our honeymoon destination, and told my mate AFTER so she thinks its a coinsindence!!...Dont you think all this is a little odd? I'm so worried about her, but she doesnt talk to me like she used to so what can i do? I miss my friend. Dont get me wrong, I do like her fella but he strikes me as alittle unusual and hes changed her already.
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male
reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (13 August 2007):
 When there is mutual trust and respect in any relationship, there is also reciprocation. Your friend, by not reciprocating, has shown that she does not respect you.
It took me over twenty years to discover that certain friends who I thought were kindred spirits were not because I did all the work. It hurt to let these ones go, but I am now able to focus my emotional energy on the few people with whom I share mutual trust and respect. And the rewards are incredible.
It's probably time to let this person go from your life because she has proven that she is not worthy of your friendship. Good luck and take care.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2007): hi its her thats let you down i can see. Maybe she wasnt a good friend in the first place. I think you should ignore her and find a new friend to hang with becuase when he dumps her she will feel lonley and may want to come back to you she had a choice of beeing your friend and now she has left you. She not a good friend dumping you somone she knows very well for a boy she may not know as well
xx
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