A
male
age
36-40,
*hazman1984
writes:Hello.. Well, a couple of years ago i started a new job where I met this girl, a coworker. we were instantly good friends. a few months into our friendship, i confessed that i liked her, but was shot down. it was a bit awkward at first, but we quickly went back to being friends. Now it's been 2 years and i'm absolutely in love with her. we talk every single day, We're best friends, we cant go a day without each other's company. We both want to get out of this town and move to NYC. So we decided to go together and be roommates. Even though i never said anything on the matter, she's not dumb, i'm sure she suspects that i'm in love with her. My question is, Should i become her roommate? If i don't go with her, i will lose her as a friend, i know we will drift apart. That's the last thing I want. But If I do go, I don't know if i can live with some one i love so much and only remain friends.
View related questions:
best friend, co-worker, roommate Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (4 February 2008):
 There are so many uncertainties in life.Nobody can really predict what happens in the future. We should not be a pessimist but an optimist.
It is better to have love and failed then not to love at all.If you are going to extradite a confession of her love from her before you want to be her room mate as a condition to moving in , you would appear to be calculative and cold .
Even if she give you an assurance , anything can happen when you moved there.
Since you have known her for sometime , you would be able to read her and know what kind of person she is.
You will have to step out by faith and leave everything to fate.
Good luck and wish you all the best!
A
male
reader, shazman1984 +, writes (4 February 2008):
shazman1984 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know moving with her could lead to disaster, but she's my best friend. i've never had what we have with anyone else before. whether it's here or in nyc, without her, i don't know where i would turn..
...............................
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (3 February 2008):
 Hey sweetness,
Personally, I think that picking up your life and heading to NYC to live with a girl who you're in love with but who might or might not love you back - this sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Now, this could end happily. You could move out there, she confesses her love for you, you're living together and everything is fine. However, there are a million and seven ways this situation could go badly, and I'm not sure you want to take that chance.
Say she doesn't have feelings for you and you're stuck in the role of "just friends" forever, but you're living together and she's bringing her new boyfriend home and doing him in the room next to you. Or, say that you tell her your feelings and things get awkward and you decide not to live together. Apartments in NYC are DISGUSTINGLY expensive, and you're going to pretty much be along in a city of millions. What will you do then? Moving is EXPENSIVE and DIFFICULT. A "break up" will be a lot harder to bounce back from.
I think that before you move to NYC, you need to be REALLY CLEAR about your feelings to her. And I mean really, painfully crystal clear. Tell her you're in love with her and give her the opportunity to make her feelings (and intentions) clear to you.
I really think if you get all the way to NYC and this whole issue comes up THEN, it'll be a lot harder to deal with the aftermath. If she indeed loves you back, well then move on out there, have a great time and enjoy the city. But this issue should be dealt with BEFORE you two pack up.
Good luck, sweetness.
xx India
...............................
A
male
reader, Daverocks  +, writes (3 February 2008):
Welcome to the club, I am in a similar situation with a co-worker. I am not as lucky as you as I only see her now and again.
You should jump (LOL) at the chance of rooming with her but after two years I think you need to consider telling her your feelings and either getting together or splitting for good.
Its your chance (and hers) to make your mind up. Its no good after all chasing rainbows and to pretend that being her friend is enough is not a long term option.
I suppose you and I both have to remember that there are plenty of fish in the sea and you will find the right woman in time. You must also consider the possibility that she is using you and will want you to disappear when 'Mr. right' comes along.
...............................
A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (3 February 2008):
She is giving you the opportunity , you should seize it.If she does not like you , she would not ask you to be her room mate.You will have more chances to be with her and see her everyday.It is like a trial marriage. Don't expect her to be forthright. Love does not need to be expressed verbally. Can you not feel it?
...............................
|
