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My Best Friend, His Girlfriend and I.

Tagged as: Friends, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 May 2014) 2 Answers - (Newest, 25 May 2014)
A male United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I've known my best friend for about four years now. I've known his girlfriend for about five. Before I met my best friend, his now girlfriend and I use to flirt around (before they became a couple). It was never anything serious, just a few harmless spanks, hugs, light petting, something two adults do when they find each other attractive.

It never really went anywhere because neither of us pushed for it. We were just messing around. It wasn't long before she met a guy that did want something serious with her. I was happy for her. I eventually got to know the guy and we became best of friends. We practically hang out all the time and have so much in common.

Fast forward to the present and things are beginning to unravel. She's been confiding in me a lot of their personal stuff. She speaks of him not wanting or even initiating sex almost never. She says she's tired of always being the dominant one and jokes about how much she needs a real man. There was even a time where she propositioned me for a threesome with him and her. I turned it down because I knew it was one of those things can can ruin friendships, and his friendship meant too much to jeopardize.

My best friend and I have as much in common as we do in contrast. I'm outgoing and flirtatious while he's a shy and keeps-to-himself kind of guy. I can hit on a girl on the spot while he'll find a million reasons for me not to. I would openly spank a lady friend's bum (the ones I know that will like it) while I barely ever see him display physical affection for his girlfriend in public.

We even look like brothers but most describe me as the bad one and him the good one. Lately I've noticed his girl acting unusual around me. She has started calling me in the middle of the night just wanting to talk about stuff. She has even sent me a few pics of her in lingerie, asking if I thought he would like it. I knew her well enough to know it wasn't about him. She even sat on my lap one time when we were at my house. I gently pushed her off because I wasn't comfortable with it.

I guess the final straw that broke the camel's back was when she sent me a half-nude pic of herself on her balcony. This is what prompted me to seek advise. I like her and I think she's a cool girl but I'm not the kind of guy that would go behind a friend's back. She complains that she isn't attracted to him anymore and that she's afraid to hurt him by breaking it off. He's kind of a timid dude so I'm guessing it will hit him hard.

I don't know what to do about this situation. I have blocked her number from my phone and have blacklisted her messages so I won't see them. I've also done all I could not to bump into her when she's not with him. I thought about telling him but that felt wrong as well. What would be the best way to solve this?

View related questions: best friend, flirt, shy, threesome

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2014):

This is hard, but I think you should tell him.

Maybe you could just send him the link to this post?

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A male reader, Nicolah051 Belgium +, writes (24 May 2014):

The behaviour of your lady friend is pretty unrespectful towards your best friend and she should not be doing this at all, according to your story it really seems your best friend does not deserve this. You're in a tough spot. I think you should tell him, because eventually it will come to light, because it is doomed to fail with her behaviour. Maybe they can still work something out if he knows about this stuff. But thats my opinion and opinions differ ofcourse.

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