A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend are in a comited relationship..since 4.5months..we both really love each other..but the problem is that he is not giving me time..he stays 545km away from me..we generally sms each other..he used to give me a lot of time earlier but now a days he don't..when i ask him why..he says he is busy with his friends and can't msg ..moreover he acepts the fact that he is not giving me time and has even apologised and said that he wil try to improve..but even after that he doesn't sms me much..and this really makes me feel sad..i mean even if he is with his frnds,he can just say that he is busy..wil talk later..but he never said like that..and i wait desparately for his msg..don't know how to handle this situation..please help.. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, hijacked_dignity  +, writes (16 November 2009):
 A lot of people say that they are going to change, but they don't. If this relationship is something that you can handle, then stay with him. But what you have going on right now is most likely the best you're going to get, and eventually it might even slow down from here. Four and a half months isn't a long time together, and usually in that time is the entire puppy love stage where you just can't get enough of each other. If this guy is already putting the breaks on things, I would suggest that you rethink being in a relationship with him.
The other suggestion I have for you is stay with him, but stop texting him or initiating calls. Let him put some of the work in and see if he follows through. Maybe he just feels that you are smothering him. Maybe you aren't giving him a chance to chase after you a bit. I know it's going to be really hard, but don't text for a few days, no matter what. Don't call. Just sit back and see if he is really interested or not. Make him initiate for a couple weeks, you know? Otherwise you are just going to be in the same unhappy situation you are now. Just realize that if this doesn't work, you won't be able to change him, and it might be best to consider moving on. Good luck!
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