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female
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*vanna22
writes: I've been VERY depressed lately. I've been in my room for three days and haven't gone anywhere. I know this is nasty but I haven't even showered. My mom is downstairs in front of the computer all day and has never asked me what's wrong. She just cares about herself. I can't count on her for NOTHING. Why is she like this with me? why doen't she care?
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2006): Ok your Mother is probably aware of the fact that you have been in your room for three days, but maybe she doesnt know how to tackle the situation. Its very hard being a parent and most of parenting is just winging it and going on your instincts!.
Maybe she is really worried about you but she might be waiting for you to open up to her, there are a number of reasons as to why she is acting the way she is.
If you feel depressed the best thing to do is to tell your mother or someone close to you.
Its not always easy to tell when someone is depressed, especially when its a teenager. Dont tke this the wrong way but teenagers nowadays tend to shut themselves in thier room for days on end and it doesnt always mean that there is a problem, and trust me I'm only 25 so I'm not far off a teenager myself its all still very fresh in my memory!!.
But its hard to tell when a teenager or young person is depressed, thats why parents encourage their children to speak to them if they have a problem.
Its hard learning how to handle your feelings when your still young and there are a lot more pressures from peers and society on young people than there used to be, so thats why more young people are feeling depressed nowadays.
Ok so tell your mom how you feel and I'm sure she will be very sad to hear that her daughter is feeling depressed.
Good luck.
XX
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female
reader, scorpiomac4 +, writes (4 December 2006):
I'm sorry your feeling this way, it's horrible feeling your totally alone and can't even turn to your parents. I was raped five years ago and my mum was just concerned with me getting back to work, I lived on my own at the time and she didn't even offer to come and pick me up, there were no tears, no reassurance, no offer to come to the doctors or clinic with me. Ever since I have been unable to go to her or my dad. Instead I find courage in myself. I love my parents, however if I have a problem I sort it out myself, the be all and end all is that you can only relie on yourself. It sounds stupid but the thing that keeps me strong is knowing there are people out there in worse situations than me. You have a roof over your head and I'm guessing food on the table. Get a goal for yourself, whether it's doing well at studying or getting a promotion at work, buying your first home, chanel your energy into something and once you start to see the light at the end of the tunnel you'll feel so proud of yourself. As regards to you mother, everyone has their own problems, I'm sure she loves and cares about you, maybe she doesn't know how to express her feelings. There is no rule on how parents should act. Some are affectionate and some are not. Now get in the shower, put some clean clothes on and do your hair and make up and you'll feel better instantly... wish you all the best chick...
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reader, Jovial  +, writes (4 December 2006):
 I totally agree with aunt martini, in life u need to learn to be self reliant thats how u can survive in this world. lets say ur mom is being the way she is bcos as u say she doesnt care lets say that is true so what are u going to do about? do you want to let ur mother's careless behaviour disrupt ur life? i dont know how old u are, but im going to assume u are old enough to seperate right from wrong which means u can also tell if ur behavior is good for u or not.
another scenario can be that ur mother is going thru some rough phase and honestly she doesnt know how to be a mother to u without feeling sorry for herself i know it sounds lame but things like this does happen to people and we can only find out if we reach out to them, have u tried telling her how u feel? when my parents divorced some years back my mom didnt took it very well she would snap at anything and as the kids we will talk amongst ourselves how much she hated us until one day we felt enough was enough and confronted her and u know what she was not aware thats how we felt bcos she was busy feeling sorry for herself and thought we despised her bcos she couldnt keep the family together as we deserve a better mother than her, and the truth was that we loved her and were grateful to have her as our mother, this might not be the same situation with u but it can tell u something about the power of reaching out. good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2006): Well, I think your mum is not doing any thing about you or nor borther if you were fine or not is because of the way you to to her, cox i feel you are not honest to her as a daugher, cox I know most mum cares alot for daughter than sons, so all you need to do is call your mum and ask her if you are offended her that she dont care about you. Than what ever she tell you will help you to know what to do next. Thanks and I think this will help you.
Best Luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2006): Look, there's something I have comprehended and learned from that ultimately, the only person in the world that I can always rely on is myself. Your mom might need a good talking to, maybe, but I very much so suggest that you pick yourself up from the ground you're lying on and do something yourself about your depression, anger, and sadness.
Like myself, when I have lots of things on my mind and no one to talk, and it somehow gets to me, I'll look for another outlet to help me let go of my thoughts. Instead of waiting around feeling sorry for myself and hoping that my parents or my friends pick up on my disappearing act, I rather just fix the damn problem with myself by myself then wait for others to take notice of me.
In short, as I said, stop feeling pitiful and start doing something about it. WHY is your mom like that? If you don't know, then you are either still too young to have lived enough with her to know about her, or there is absolutely no open communcation between you two. Either or, YOU have to do something about it.
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