A
female
age
30-35,
*essbelle
writes:I just returned from a great vacation w/my family and my bf. My parents are nice enough to invite him along every year. We have been together for 5 years. We are both at home for the summer and his parents still have an issue when he does stuff with my family. His mother called constantly while we were away. After four days I could hear her say to my bf, "can't wait to see you." He replied that he couldn't wait to see her either. Really? After four days? We are at school for months at a time without seeing our families. The day we came home she called at least ten times to see if he would be home for dinner. My folks were driving and just wanted to play things by ear as it's a long drive. We did get home in time for him to have dinner and I stayed, too. When we drove in, his parents didn't even come out to thank my parents or just acknowledge them. We unloaded the car, he hugged my mom good bye and thanked her and no one from his family as much as stepped a foot in my parents' direction. The same thing happened last year and then his mother accused mine of "trying to hijack her son". What the heck? My mom has been really forgiving and is not rude to his mother, I can tell she has had it.When we went inside, his family did not ask one question about our trip. His mother did make a point of telling me that I didn't look all that tanned which sounds so stupid, but the fact is were were on the beach every day for a week and I was starting to feel too tanned. She also did not make enough food, which is typical. I don't eat very much, but I feel like I can't take the food I need or there won't be enough. I always leave hungry The point is, I think, that she was/is trying to make me feel bad. I feel like she sees me as an intrusion. In the past she has done things like invite me for dinner and has everyone sit down 5 o 10 minutes before the time I was to arrive, so I walk in on a half finished meal.I'm not sure how to handle any of this. We are 21 years old and I feel like she treats my bf as a 12 year old. If we see each other it's this huge deal sometimes. She actually gave him a calendar at Christmas listing the number of hours he had spent at home (not enough in her opinion) and the number he spent with me.Please give me some advice.
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female
reader, Asharinat +, writes (19 July 2009):
Hmmm I would handle this situation like this...IGNORE IT. You cant change his mother. And although she sounds like she is extremely overbearing you are in a relationship with her son not with her. We can all think about what we "think" someone should say or do but we cannot change it. So why worry so much.
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