A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi i am a straigh 16 year old male and I have a few things on my mind. I experienced with another guy friend of mine awhile back and i honeslty didnt know what i was doing. and we humped eachother. nipple play. penis play. thats it. nothing with him sucking my penis or anything or having sex. but is that normal for straight guys to do that? am i still a virgin? and I am afraid because when i think of naked girls or something. I don't get a hard on. this frustrates me and I want to be straight. but just curious, of those questions so please respond!
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male
reader, NightLad  +, writes (1 April 2009):
 Heya,
Sexual orientation isn’t something that you can decide or change, like a fashion accessory. At its core it is determined by who you are attracted to on an emotional, intellectual and yes, physical level. In short, who you have the ability to fall in love with.
Should you find that you are attracted exclusively to other boys, then you may decide that the label ‘gay’ best describes your sexuality. If you find that it is woman you are attracted to, then you may feel that ‘straight’ applies. If you find yourself attracted to both on some percentage or another, then bisexual may suit you.
Because you seem unsure and questioning about your sexuality, I would not advocate you selecting labels at this point. It may be that you and your friend were simply acting out some bi-curiosity, and if you read though this forum you will notice that it is a pretty common thing for teens of both genders, and even adults.
I know that it may seem like the world's biggest issue for you right now, but please, try not to 'over think' it. You still have a long way to go in life, and these things have a way of sorting themselves out.
Are you still a virgin? I’d say you are. Others may disagree. Some people define losing one’s virginity as performing the act of intercourse. Others feel that any sexual act with another person ends the person’s virgin status. You have some soul searching to do, my friend.
I hope this helps.
Now I’d like to take a moment to respond directly to “anonymous” from March 11 2009. He wrote, “Im the same way,guys turn me on while a girl really doesnt,but I'm going to marrie a woman,b/c thats what I want in my life,is to be with a woman.But that is me,you could do the same or be gay.”
Don’t you think the woman deserves to be with a man who desires her and is capable of wanting her?
It is like those people who say, “Gays have all the rights of straight people already. They can marry a woman!” To them I often quip, “So you’d want a gay man to marry your daughter?” Just be true to yourself. Don’t deceive a woman into marrying you to fulfill some desire on your own part. That’s just selfish and cannot end well. Such marriages never do.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2009): I'm 20 and a guy,I think experimenting is normal for even for a straight guy to do.You're not a virgin anymore but a lot of people loose it at a young age.If you believe in God ask for forgiveness and turn away,from having sex with people until your married.Thinking of a naked girl isn't the same as seeing them in person naked..When I think about a girl naked or in a sexual way I dont get a hard on either.I think your still growing in life dont let one slip up define you.If a person wants to be staight, bi,or gay they will be.I personally wouldnt let my body deside who I am going to be with.If I want to be with a girl or guy then I'll be with them.Im the same way,guys turn me on while a girl really doesnt,but I'm going to marrie a woman,b/c thats what I want in my life,is to be with a woman.But that is me,you could do the same or be gay.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2009): "Normal" is dictated by a common society or the community around you. What is 'normal' to one society or community may not necessarily be normal to another.
You don't have to label your actions with what society has categorized. Whether you like males, females or a gradient between the two, you are simply you. It is only through the pressures of your peers, that you need to conform to a certain lifestyle.
Remember that as long as there is no harm done for others, as well as yourself, then whatever you do is your own business and no one else's.
Just as well, if you don't want to be something, you can always enforce a change. However, if whatever you're doing feels natural, then you should reconsider no change at all.
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