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Men over 40: do men loose their sex drive after 40?

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Question - (6 November 2008) 9 Answers - (Newest, 16 February 2011)
A female age 51-59, anonymous writes:

This question to men over40...I really need to know how common is that,, that man loses his sex drive over 40?

I'm so confused because I know many older ,60 and up guys who are chasing after woman and yet I keep hearing about andropause what happens to man over 40 and they stop having sex...

So what is the truth? What is the myth?

View related questions: sex drive

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2011):

My first love contacted me over 2 years ago. We both are in our late 40s. We have sex for 3, 4, sometimes 5 hours. I know I couldn't do this with anyone else because truly, there is "something in the way she moves me".

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2009):

age! may be a factor as many guys get some sickness. The major factor is the health if you are healthy you can go at the smae drive as you were at 20's. I am 45 now, I still have twice a day, my need is even more

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2009):


I am 43 and can say in my "prime" it was out of control how much I wanted sex. At 43 I have interest but 2-3 times a week is all I would care for.

I mean, most of us at 43, the jobs stress is higher, your work load harder, kids, lack of sleep and let's face it getting older! I guess the funny thing with women is they take it personal.. when us guy were young and begging for it every day and got rejected we just had to deal with it.

Do what us guys did back in our day, get youself off!! I know you can go out and get it anytime you want bla bla bla.. but if you love him and have self respect you will just come to terms with the tides have changed and make the 2-3times a week fun!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2009):

I wish I knew the answer. I have been searching for this answer myself! My husband is 43, as am I. We have been together for 2 years, married less then 1 of those. We have sex 2 times a week, even though I want it every day. It's so frustrating to me!! Is it me? Why doesn't he want me? And yes, I HAVE talked with him about this, but he blames his age on his sex drive, or lack of.

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A female reader, sexy-carmel160 United States +, writes (25 February 2009):

sexy-carmel160 agony auntmy fiance just turned 40 and he like's to have sex 4 times at least during the day 3 times in the middle of the night and the cylce goes on and on. sometimes i make up excuses so we can skip a day ..he get's very upset he thinks because i'am 37 I'm into the younger guy's.I love making love with my man i have know complaints!!It depends on the man

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A male reader, metalsman United Kingdom +, writes (6 November 2008):

metalsman agony auntHi there,

It must be just an individual thing i think, i'm a 48 year old guy who has a very active sex life (everyday for me would be just fine). I don't let life's other aspects of work get in the way of my sex life with my wife as i find it provides a perfect stress relief for all the troubles and worries that you endure with just getting along with life as such. True though that enough stress piled on you can have a limiting effect in terms of how good the experience might be on say individual days but i have to acknowledge that (for me) it certainly doesn't stop me wanting that closeness and physical intensity which it brings.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2008):

I have this problem with the man I have been with the last 5 years. He wants sex once a month and he is only 43! I still want sex frequently and have left him because of this. Now before you jump to judging me, I did try with him.. however, he would masturbate every day and spend hours on-line 'chatting' with other women. I truly believe that these men nowadays are spending way too much time in front of the computer and neglecting their women in the process....too selfish for me.

I know the man I was with for 8 years, previous to this relationship...was 41 and he wanted sex alot, sometimes multiple times in a day. He also didn't own a computer or cable t.v. I think there is a connection!

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A male reader, LazyGuy Netherlands +, writes (6 November 2008):

LazyGuy agony auntIf there is a myth then it is the common one that you can put a single label on an entire group.

Not all men are the same.

Sex drive is a combination of factors, personality, health, social circumstances etc etc.

Some men might loose intrest in sex, for a lot of different reasons, some might never loose it, some might just not have the energy etc etc.

If you are having troubles in your sex-life then you should look at the specific man in question. What is happening in his life that makes him less intrested in sex then before?

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A female reader, Sweet-thing United Kingdom +, writes (6 November 2008):

Sweet-thing agony auntI don't really know but I'd be interested in hearing what everyone has to say on this topic. My b/f is 53 but he's a young 53 and his equipment works just fine. It's his head that gets screwed up. When he starts focusing on the fact that he's 53 and I'm 38, he stops being in the mood because he's fretting that he'll not be able to keep me satisfied as he gets older. I worry about this too because I have a fairly high sex drive and I enjoy having sex pretty damn often. When he's got alot of meetings and things going on at work, sex is the first thing he stops being interested in. Again, back to the mind thing. And I get irritated when I realize he's been watching videos of sexy women and still doesn't seem interested in having sex with a real one. And yes, I know men like watching porn and most of the time it's not a problem, but sometimes when we aren't having sex I think it's because he has nothing left for me because the sex videos have gotten all his juices. I'm like you, I know lots of men who are older and seem to have active sex lives with their mates. Maybe they're all on Viagra and they just don't say it. But I really think it's a mind game. Also, you have to think about the rest of your relationship and wonder if he's simply getting bored with you. I know when I was married before, I avoided sex when I started losing my attraction for my husband and I'd make up excuses not to have sex. Same things I hear women complain that their men do. So you have to really wonder what's going on....

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