A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi guys, need sum help plz. I'm married andvhav been for 6 years. I've been cheating on my husband with this guy from work over 5 years. And I really love this guy. I got pregant, my son is 2 1-2 years old. And it's the guys baby. My husband still doesn't know. I know I'm doing wrong. But wot to do? I stop sleeping wiv my husband 3 years ago. We are both in different rooms. We dont even hav sex and etc.. I can't hav him touch me. Coz I'm in love wiv my boyfriend and really wanna be wiv him, my husband questioned me everyday and we get in to arguements. Bout me not letting him near me and etc. And now the problem is I thort one day I would leave my husband to be wiv my boyfriend. But my boyfriend said that his family will never allow him to marry me and he can't hurt his family.snd still says he loves me and wants to be wiv me even after he gets married. Just hearing this kills me off and is upsetting me alot. I don't wanna be wiv my husband and I stil can't be wiv my boyfriend. Wot do I do? Leave my boyfriend and carry on living wiv my husband.! Or leave both and start a ova wiv my son! Or stay with my husband and be my boyfriends mistress. Like I said I love him alot . With out him I ferl like I hav no life. But I'm getting stressed out. And my boyfriend has told me 1001% he can't marry me. Reason to that is religion. And he knows I hav no sexual relationship eic my husband. But I know he will be having a sexual relationship. I won't be able to take that. I can't see him getting married to sum one else. Wot should I do. Plz show me the rite path.
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female
reader, laetitia  +, writes (7 May 2010):
 Your boyfriend claims to be "religious" but he is having an affair with a married woman. He is just looking for excuses not to be with you. You've made yourself his sexual object.
If I were you, I'd eventually tell my husband about the child, but before that make sure I have another place to stay at.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2010): First things first. You are comitting a serious fraud against your poor husband. He has a right to know that he is not the father of your child. He has the right to get on with his life. This isn't all about you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2010): You're not content in your marriage, and you can't be with someone you want. Maybe you should take time off of men be on your own with your child and eventually you'll find someone that's good for you
Good luck,
;D
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2010): You've cheated on your husband for 5 years, got him believing your son is actually his and and haven't had the common courtesy to end it. Thats just cruel. You've had your cake and eaten plenty it looks and your lover has made it clear that his family is more important than you.
If you have any shred of honesty left you would end your marriage, tell your husband his son isn't his as I think your son deserves to know who is father is as he grows older and start life on a new slate. Its time to think what's right for your son and now what you want.Your both still young with lots of life ahead of you.
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A
female
reader, raiders  +, writes (6 May 2010):
 You need to dust yourself off and start again, you made bad choices but whats done is done. You don't love your husband you need to leave him give him the opportunity to be happy with someone else, don't be selfish and set him free.
Your lover is always going to be a lover if you stay with him because he will not marry you and form a family with you and his son, so the best thing is to safe you from this pain and leave him. Its going to be hard because you love him but you need to move on for the sake of your child. Do not continue to be his lover and have your child later in life ask you why does my daddy and mommy till sleep together but he goes home to another family, don't do this to your child.
Start over, start fresh, and start a new life, do learned from your experience and don't cheat again, good luck.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (6 May 2010):
 Or leave both and start a ova wiv my son!
Thats what you should do. You can't be with yoru husband anymore because you dont love him, and your boyfriend has not enough respect for you. Your boyfriend never had respect for you, because if he did he wouldn't have been having an affair with you, he'd wait for you to divorce and then have a proper relationship with you! But now he says he could never marry you/be with you in public! He sounds like he's just using your body for sex.
What I think would be best for you is to leave them both and never lower yourself to this level again. Your son is your son no matter what, so try and make a new life for the two of you. Perhaps come out clean so your son will know who his true father is, and so that your husband can start over anew with a new woman and not be tied to you. After all why punish your husband when this is not even his.
You can find someone who you love for real and will never cheat on! I believe that man is out there! Find that someone who will respect you more than your boyfriend, and someone who you can love more than both of these men. Neither of them are right for you.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (6 May 2010):
 The right path is always not to get in these predicaments in the first place. I'd recommend starting over. Leaving both, because it's not fair to your husband to continue being in a marriage that seems more one sided. Leave your boyfriend where he can never give you what it is you're looking for, and be a good mom to your son. Luckily you don't have children with your husband.
When you complete this, don't get into this position again. You have a child to care for, and I'm sure you don't want your child to grow up thinking or accepting these types of relationships as being okay. He learns from you, and your actions, so act as if your son is sitting there, judging you in everything that you do. If I can't share my life with my kids, then I'm doing something that needs to be changed.
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