A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Please help me. A couple of years ago after a bad divorce I met a wonderful man in the Army. We dated and kept in touch via phone calls and email for about a year and a half. Finally, we decided to take a more permanent step in our relationship and get married. Within a 6 month period, I quit my job and rented my house and moved to another country so that we could be together. Once I arrived, all of a sudden things have changed. I feel as if he does not want me anymore, I have only been here 2 months and we are already getting into arguments. I am trying my best to be a good wife to him. I cook, clean, wash his clothes, reorganized our home so that it would be more comfortable for us and I try not to complain or nag him. Even though I miss the life I had before and my family. Physically, I am very open to trying new things and our sex life is good, I wear sexy clothes at least 3 times a week to bed. However, on occasions he does turn me down by saying that he is tired. He is a high ranking officer in the military so I know that he has alot on his plate. I am new to the military life so there are alot of things that I do not know about the basic things and I do not feel like I have his support 100% - I assumed that he would take a couple of days off to show me around and make sure that I was acclimated to my new enviornment and he has not. After being here for 2 months he has just taken me on a date. I have continously tried to check myself, because I don't want to blame him ~ So I am looking in the mirror to make sure that I am not the problem. I am driving myself crazy. Can someone please tell me what is happening?
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female
reader, loveinidleness  +, writes (23 April 2009):
Sweetie, I don't know anything about military life but I do know what it feels like to be unsupported and ignored. The best remedy is to get out there and get a life of your own going. Surely there are other wives to get to know - charities to help - schools that might welcome an English speaker? Make yourself useful to other people and don't just wear that sexy stuff three times a week. Let that tired old soldier see you getting dressed every morning in sexy undies and let him know that you have a busy day planned. Be loving but don't be needy and anxious to please.
A
female
reader, littlemomma  +, writes (23 April 2009):
 I once found a myspace sticker that says "the Army is my husbands mistress and sometimes that bitch gets all the attention." It is SOO true! Dont think your doing anything wrong or that you guys are compatible. It's just hard transfering from a civilian to a military member. Things get complicated and you need to remember it isnt easy for him either. He's used to just worrying about him and his work, not having someone around. A lot of military guys get a huge ego and it's sometimes hard to let someone into their "space" if you know what I mean. In the military you cant really just "take a day off". It's a constant job with not a whole lot leway for personal time. Some people dont even get a honeymoon or really a wedding day. They get married then the soldier goes to work end of story. It sucks but it's how military life goes.
However, you got to remember, because of such a life style. You guys will have a greater bond than a lot of couples. Plus, as I look at it, when you guys are apart then reunite, you get a greater apprecaition for each other. You also get that first love jitters a lot more than most people.
I wont say military is easy by any means and it isnt for everyone. However in the long run, as long as you love each other...it's all worth it!
Good luck!
Sincerely,
PVT Hirschi's wife
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2009): There is nothing wrong with you, that's for sure. Perhaps he has been going through something incredibly tough at the military, something that he feels, or was told, not to discuss with you.
I'd think the best best you'd have was to simply ask him what is on his mind one night. Maybe he will open up.
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