Marriage has gone downhill so much that I want to leave

A female age 36-40, *amela H. writes:

Ok, me and my husband have been married for almost two years and he doesn't really care for me as he used to. We act like we are roommates cause there is no sex. He doesn't take me anywhere unless I ask a few times. He doesn't remember anything having to do with anything I say and even my birthday. He stares at girls alot. More than a tipical man I think and sometimes compliments them on their looks but won't say anything to me if I look nice. Unless I ask. He doesn't take showers as much anymore so he's always nasty after working outside, and he stopped changing his underware too. I know cause I do laundry. It's gross. As I said we don't have sex much anymore, and when I asked him why not he said it's the same thing and it's not exciting. He says he's used to his ex girlfriends and what they do and pornos he used to watch. They do more than me I guess. He doesn't take care of his teeth and his breath is aweful. I deal with all these things but it's getting worse. He said he isn't attracted to me anymore either. I do so much for him even when he's not appriciative like most people. I can't go anywhere with him cause little things bother him and he goes off with a temper.Ruens the trip. Or I can't do anything with him cause he's a poor sport and something is bound to piss him off. My love for him has gone downhill. I'm so depressed. He's not trying unless I say something and take initiative. Try. Effort. Oh and when we do something together he ends up saying he could have been at home working on something... And it makes me feel bad I even invited him somewhere. Well, now I talked to him and told him that I wanted a divorce and he said he doesn't want one. He thinks everything is fine and still wants me. But yet he never seems to try for that. My parents told me to seperate and move out and things sometimes get better when your seperated. Deep down I want the divorce and to get away from him. I don't have kids with him and nothing like that will make the divorce hard like that. But what do you suggest? I know if I leave him and move out he won't do anything about it. I need someone that wants me for me. And wants to go hiking, and play sports,etc with me without complaining I think. I'm not looking to date and look for anyone but get my own life without someone to depress me. I used to be such a goofy, fun person to hang around and since being married to him I've gone downhill. Suggestions? I don't want my parents to get mad at me so instead of divorce immediatly I agreed to seperate.

View related questions: depressed, divorce, ex girlfriend, his ex, porn, roommate

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A male reader, dddddddd  +, writes (8 July 2009):

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