A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I have a bit of an odd question which I hope I can get some answers to.I get on with most people I meet, I'm friendly, funny etc... So I been told! Somehow though my male managers seem to shy away talking to me. In my current job my male manager hardly talks to me I mean he's plesant and if I have any queries he will sort it out. But on a banter level he doesn't seem to involve me in any jokes or funny emails he sends round.Our office has 14 women and 3 men so understandibly it can be intimidating BUT he goes out if his way to chat to everyone else and ignore me. Infact he's a flirt with the majority of women in there- apart from the "older" ladies in heir 40s. I'm 25.To clarify I've never caused any problems in the office ie I get on with my work and my team leader constantly praises me. Also I'm not unnatractive. I'm no Kate Moss but I'm attractive in my own way and other guys in the building flirt with me. I have a boyfriend (as do the other girls in my team) and I've been told I'm very classy, which I am. I noticed the same pattern in my old job witn my male manager then, he was always chatty to other women but kind of minimised his contact with me, even in meeting not making eye contact.I spoke to my mum about this and her comment was "it's probably because they fancy you"! Now I DONT agree with this personally and also if somone fancied you surely they'd flirt- not ignore you??!Can anyone shed any light in this for me. I honestly can't think of any reasons to be treated differently.Thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2010): Yeah, he probably does!
A
female
reader, Chickb +, writes (29 May 2010):
He probably does fancy you and feels intimidated hence the reason he doesn't interact with you much! Where I work in a very male orientated environment and you get a mix of men and how they flirt etc.. Some who are nice looking and know it openly flirt, others who are more shy and not so confident tend to shy away and only chat to women in their league. What I'm trying to say us if he is less better looking than the chances are he does like you!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2010): Maybe you seem uptight/ scary.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2010): Yeah he probably likes you, and doesn't want to cross the employer/employee boundaries that's all- just in case he begins to like you further. And just for some info: I ALWAYS avoid people I like rather then flirt with them, especially if there is a reason I can't pursue them.
If it really upsets you, perhaps you should have a chat with him about it. Just say something along the lines of 'Sometimes I don't really feel like I'm included as part of the team as much as others'
In my opinion I get the vibe that you like him, just food for thought ;)
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