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I'm 18 and like a guy who's 41. Love has no restrictions........right?

Tagged as: Age differences<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 October 2007) 11 Answers - (Newest, 17 October 2007)
A female United States age 30-35, *wistedAngel writes:

What should I do? Im 18 and there is this guy I like who is 42. Im a big believer in age aint nothin but a number. Ive always been attracted to older guys (and country guys but thats another story). I would definitely say I am mature for my age. My thing is that im a homebody, I dont get into the whole party party party thing. I am a family orientated person which is why I prefer older men, they are over that party mode and are ready to settle down and have a family which is what I want. How should I approach him, I know he likes me too.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2007):

Homebody? Family and kids? What about an education, a career? Do you have goals and ambitions for that, dear? Young women your age, need to commit to preparing themselves for a future, which could mean financial independence, without depending on a man to 'give' them a life, hun. You should be focusing on school, and building your personality/character at this time, not playing house with someone whom is at the age to be your father. Family and babies require mature, deep, loving relationships that have commitment, trust, compatibility, and a future. He's on the downhill road to retirement and your life is just beginning. You sound as if you are in a big rush to want to love a man...any man. Give this some serious thought first. I am not insinuating there isn't a future here...just make absolutely certain you and this older guy are on the same page. If he's not prepared to become a father at this stageof the game, then go find someone closer to you in age, interests, and maturity. But get an education, first or a good job. Travel, live on your own, pay your own rent...if you aren't already. Get a taste of life, dear or youmay really, really regret your missed opportunites in 5 years when you are 23 and have a couple kids, depending on you. Parenthood has it's joys...but it has it headaches, too and you really, really have no 'life' for yourself in those first 5 years! Are you up for that? If you are...then go for it and good luck!

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A female reader, TELLULAH United Kingdom +, writes (15 October 2007):

TELLULAH agony auntAnon's girlfriend must have just left him.

There is part truth in what he say's, but you are over the age of consent, and its up to you what you do.

As for the saying "I am mature for my age", I dont think thats Crap at all. I have two young sailing friends, both of them (men)are 20. One is always out on the pull for girls, and the other has a lovely girlfriend and has no interest in going out to bars and clubs. He has also been through so much in his life, and not had parents since he was 8. He has done really well for himself and is so much more mature than the other one. So I think life, can make you more mature, not always age.

Whatever you do be happy, and look at this as a bit of fun. If it turns into something more, well like I said its up to you. XXX

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A female reader, TwistedAngel United States +, writes (15 October 2007):

TwistedAngel is verified as being by the original poster of the question

yes actually i do. My best friend is 16 and shes engaged to a 21 year old. My brother is about to turn 20 and his girlfriend is 17.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2007):

To put it bluntly, "I'm mature for my age" is a load of crap. I've heard girls saying that to justify their older-guy relationships for my whole life, and I honestly can't think of one single case where I saw any truth in it.

The only truth I ever saw was that some girls are able to get themselves into adult situations at a younger age because they're good enough looking to get away with it and the adults involved don't mind using them for some fun. The actual "maturity" of the girls were not related to this whatsoever.

It's not a sign of "maturity" when you want to spend time with older people. But it IS a sign of real maturity when you might want to do this, but you realize that it's not in your best interests so you refrain from it. (True maturity isn't so much fun, is it?)

If age ain't nothing but a number, then what do you think of the boys your own age who mess with girls 3-4 years younger than them? I'll bet you don't have nearly such a liberated view of them, do you? Well, keep in mind that this is pretty much what other grown women are thinking about the men who show interest in teenage girls like yourself.

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A female reader, TwistedAngel United States +, writes (13 October 2007):

TwistedAngel is verified as being by the original poster of the question

okay.....so were not officially dating(but I have hope). Right now we just started talking. Make sure that both of our eyes are open before we jump into this. Thnx Everyone. Look out for future updates. It just might happen. XOXOThnx AgainXOXO

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2007):

Go for it!! i'm 18, my partner is 35, we couldn't be happier!! good luck and take care xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2007):

Forget the age gap thing and just go for it. Have fun and stop worrying about people and age gaps. It is true, blokes past a certain age (well some), are well over the parties and night clubs so if you want a steady dad type bloke then this one could be your best bet. Go for it girl!

take care

xxx

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (11 October 2007):

kenny agony auntAge gaps invariably only ever become if one of the people in question have got issues with it. If any of you have got hang ups regarding the age gap then its doomed to fail. But if you are both fine with it, like it sounds like you are then there is no reason why it could not work out. You already know he likes you, so just ask him if he fancies doing something one night and take it from there.

Take care x

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A female reader, TELLULAH United Kingdom +, writes (11 October 2007):

TELLULAH agony auntHi,

Couldnt agree with rcn more. Men love food and funnily enough most like 18 year old girls so your onto a winner really. LOL

XXX

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2007):

No. No. No. No. No. It's not rebellious, not cute or romantic, and will go nowhere beneficial for you. I am 30, and I thought like you sound at your age. I got involved with an older man, then he turned up married, so I found another... So begin cycles. You are better off on the road less travelled - one of self-esteem and patience. The old troll will disgust you by next year if you learn your sexuality is a treasure to be earned by your future partners.

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A male reader, rcn United States +, writes (11 October 2007):

rcn agony auntGet a rope, hog tie him and take him home. lol

If he likes you too, just ask him out. Say hey, I was going _____________ later, wanna join me?

Keep it simple. Guys are not that confusing. Just mention food and they'll usually follow.

Take care.

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