A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:WHAT do men mean when they say They love you but arent IN love with you? This sounds very confusing and have had it recdently said to me.What is the difference please and why say it and what is the meaning?Thanks Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2008): When you are inlove with someone it means you desire them in every way, shape and form. You desire them sexually, emotionally, spiritually. You are drawn to them like a magnet and you can't live without them and you would do anything for that person.
But when a guy tells you he loves you, just not inlove, it's just a nice way of saying "I am not inlove with you." In other words, he doesn't desire you. He can live without you. He doesn't feel an attraction there, that's all. You are not the one for him, in his eyes. He likes you as a friend, but that's as far as it goes. He doesn't see you in a sexual way.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2008): He means he cares for you like a very close friend or
relative,but he doesn't see you in a romantic way or see a
possible romantic relationship between you two.That's what
he meant.I know.Boys and men can be so very confusing!Ha!
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A
female
reader, SugarCookie  +, writes (5 July 2008):
It means that he cares about you the way you would care about a friend or family member, but he doesn't have intimate feels for you. Basically he cares for you as a friend not a life long partner.
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A
female
reader, Smiles  + ♥, writes (5 July 2008):
 It is a very nice and diplomatic way that he is trying to tell you that he is not that"into" you; basically don't wait for "fireworks" or a relationship; probably okay as good friend, but not more.
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A
male
reader, ChiRaven + ♥, writes (5 July 2008):
 "Love" has been defined as a situation in which the other person's happiness is essential to your own. In that way, it is possible to "love" someone deeply without being romantically involved with them at all.
I think the distinction is meant to express a deep sense of feeling, caring, and attachment, but a lack of desire for a romantic and/or sexual involvement.
I personally would use the term, for example, to describe my feelings for a woman whom I've known for more than 40 years. We've been confidants and pals through all that time, but never lovers nor have we even dated. I love this woman, but I am not IN love with her.
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A
male
reader, Uncle_Phil +, writes (5 July 2008):
 To my mind, when a bloke says something like that, he's holding back from commitment.
He 'loves you' when he's having sex with you, but he's not 'in love with you' until he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. Or vice-versa, depending on his vocabulary.
That's the distinction, pure and simple.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2008): I have always took this to mean that they love you in the same way that you would love a friend, but without that depth and need that comes from "being in love". They care about you and wouldn't want to see you come to harm in any way, but that "fire" we feel when we are "in love" with someone just isn't igniting for them.
If someone has said this to you then it's time to start letting go and move on.
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A
female
reader, sarahisgreat123 +, writes (5 July 2008):
well my interpretation is that you love the people that are close to you (your family and friends) but you are IN love with your husband or wife of your partner or w/e. if someone says they love you but are not in love with you i think that means they dont see you romanticly or as their soul mate
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