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LDR-I don't think he even enjoys talking to me anymore

Tagged as: Long distance, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 October 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 29 October 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

So I've written about my guy before. But pretty much we are in a long distance relationship, we began dating in college. I'm in grad school about to finish and he is working for a law firm 1000 miles away.

First he was nervous about passing the bar exam then he was nervous about interviews with firms and then when he landed an awesome job he was nervous about doing well during training etc. So he hasn't been his happy-self instead he is going into crazy lawyer mode. He doesn't enjoy talking to me anymore, in fact I dont even think he listens. When he does call I'm on speaker while he is doing something else and I can't even hear him when he talks. I know he is worried about his job and making a good first impression and he works crazy hours from 8am -10pm some times and on a lot of weekends. This makes it hard to plan a visit.

I totally get he is busy but why is he acting weird to me? We used to enjoy talking, now he can't even tell me when he does fun things like goes to NFL games with his friends.

I'm also kind of mad that he can spend every free moment with his friends, playing lacrosse, going to games, playing video games, going out to bars and he cant even spend 15 min talking to me or having a long skype chat. I know guys unwind by doing stuff with their friends but I feel a bit neglected from all his work and time he spends with his friends.

Also I'm stressed out to the MAX about graduation as well, getting my thesis done and all my work. But he can't seem to understand that even though he just graduated and went through this LAST YEAR.

So what advice can you give me to get him to talk and open up about stuff? Should I be jealous of the time is with his friends or should I be happy he is destressing (even though he seems pissy when I call him after that)? Is he unhappy with me and should I end it or see how things go as he is with the firm for a little bit?

View related questions: jealous, long distance, video games

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A female reader, unkwn United States +, writes (29 October 2010):

He could be really stressed out on how his life is going without u. Maybe he really needs u to be close to him but yet he understands that u got things going on ur life too. U guys should see each other more often. An if that dont work then somethings wrong with him.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (29 October 2010):

aunt honesty agony auntNo you shouldnt be jelous that he is spending time with his friends but you need to talk to him about making time for you. Tell him that you understand that he is busy with work and cant talk as much as he used to but that you are busy to but he needs to make time for you if he is wanting this relationship to work.

Tell him you feel neglected and you just want him to spare some time for you as you are feeling stressed aswell and need him.

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