A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I know you might get these a lot, but I wanted to hear this great community's input. I was in a LDR - we were together for about 2 years. We loved each other, or so I thought..keep reading. Work took a lot of his time, very busy, so sometimes it would take longer for him to reply. But one day (late into the relationship) he stopped contact and not reply back for weeks. I thought we're over, wrote him a heartfelt goodbye letter, but then he came back saying he was busy with work, he loves me, blah blah. I forgave him. I told him to not disappear like that ever again, or at least let me know before. He said ok and he understands. Apparently not because he did it again and disappeared for MONTHS. This time I didn't even bother saying anything and just moved on. But recently he contacted me again saying he's sorry, that the reason he went away was because he wanted to know if he really loved me. My question is, should I write back? Even though I still have some leftover feelings for him, I'm not sure it would be a smart thing to get back together. But I need closure and maybe talk it out for the last time IF he chooses to reply.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMonkey friend, what you said is true: if a guy likes you, they would have a very hard time not contacting you.
I've finally decided it's best not to write to him. I hate thinking of how I felt when he would disappear. I don't want to deal with that again.
Thanks for all your responses!
A
female
reader, monkey friend +, writes (15 October 2010):
No. First off, I believe if a guy truly likes you, that they would have a very hard time going weeks without contacting you. Now, he did it a second time, that means you leave no matter how much or how little you miss him. This just means he doesn't truly love you, and that you get to move on to find that one guy who DOES love you, and would do anything to talk to you. (I had a LDR once. The guy and I talked almost every other day, and on weekends. Then all of a sudden it has been a week without talking. I wrote him an email about it, and he says he was really busy with work and that he was sorry. Well, A few days later he did the same thing. I finally got the brains to realize he didn't deserve, and that I could do better.)Not to mention, most LDR's don't work out~some do, but most don't. So I guess it's just easier this way.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSomeone told me, if he loved you he would be afraid to lose you. So his excuse is lame, isn't it? It does sound like was getting with other women during this period. But should I still not write to him even if I don't want to get back with him? Just to sort of tell him I've moved on, I don't believe your excuse, and good bye.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (15 October 2010):
No. He's disappeared twice, no doubt with other women or something. You're just wasting your time with him. And you won't get closure either. Your closure is that twice he left for months because he's a crap coward.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (15 October 2010):
 No. Don't write back, not unless you are happy being his back stop girl. It sounds as if he gets into relationships elsewhere and when it's over, or he is in difficulty there you are, his backstop.
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