A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:This is not really a problem, more just another question to help with my understanding of the opposite sex. I need all the help I can get in that regard, and Im not the most outgoing guy in the world, also a bit shy.I have experienced a couple of instances where I have made an effort, taking me outside of my comfort zone- ie making an effort to see someone or to make conversation where i have been apprehensive or hestitant, approaching them etc.In my opinion, i have been rewarded greatly by making this effort, not sexually, but in returned friendliness and pleasant conversation- and in fact friendship on some occasions.Ladies, is this a good rule to live by for us guys - do you 'reward' a guy if he makes the extra effort?- (or even some effort, rather than none at all) this can be conciously or unconciously I dont mean just sexually, but in the way you react or talk to him and think of him and see him as a person.Pretty deep and meaningful I know, just curious, and hope the question makes sense!
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey thanks everyone, very interesting answers!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2011): Hi
It's a good thing but boy will you pay for it later if you don't keep it up...you will be accused of not bothering anymore. Lol..only do what you intend to carry on with or it's not real and you'll pay.
Spunky Monkey
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A
male
reader, Odds  +, writes (20 July 2011):
 Any extra effort you go to for a woman will either be labeled as "sweet and romantic" or "Creepy," depending entirely on whether she finds you attractive. If it's worked out for you so far, you're probably projecting enough confidence, while keeping the sexual vibe subtle enough, that you get the first option. Good work.
Now, with that said, any effort at all is always better than no effort at all. Extra effort means extra opportunities. Extra opportunities mean you can afford to be more discerning about the sort of women you date. Extra effort, stepping outside your comfort zone, these things have worked for me, and I'm glad to see they've worked for you - keep doing it.
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (20 July 2011):
Definitely! I love it when a guy puts in the extra effort. It doesn't have to be much, but little things to let a girl know you care are always good.
Like when in the early stages you passingly mention your birthday and weeks later when the day arrives you find a card with something sweet from him. Or just unexpected nice things, like bringing you coffee the way you like it on an early morning (a classmate in Uni did this a lot when we shared classes). Sending a message or calling to ask how that important evaluation/appointment/etc. you had went. Waiting for you despite the fact everyone else already started walking on. Etc. I'm not talking about showering a girl with gifts or always paying for her tab at a bar. I'm talking about nice little gestures.
Stuff like that just makes me appreciate someone that much more. It also makes me want to work harder to make their day more pleasant. Thoughtfulness creates thoughtfulness.
I think the 'trivial' things like that really make a difference in how you come across to a girl.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (20 July 2011):
Women do like a man who makes effort. In return, she puts effort into him too. They tend to be wary of men who don't give a damn, so it's pretty much safe to say that if you continue to make effort, you'll do fine.
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