A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i am in a physical relationship with a boy who has recently come out of a 3 year relationship. We see each other and are intimate but he claims we are just friends however aspects of our relationship are those that couples have it has been 2 months and i am very confused and hurt can you suggest what i should do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, heather016  +, writes (16 March 2010):
I'm afraid you've expected too much out of this and it clearly shows that he doesn't want to have a serious, special relationship with you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2010): Hey..Listen why dont you try talking to him and asking him how he really feels about you..i know its very annoying to be confused but even tough you should find out the truth even if it might hurt you..and if he doesnt like you..its his loss :)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2010): Tell him that you've been sleeping with someone else too, since it's not an official relationship. That should shake things up.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (15 March 2010):
 You are in a rebound situation.He could be using you as a band aid for his pains of separations from his ex.
Your partner could still be dealing with those issues.
There's a very real chance that once he has worked through his emotional pain from the previous relationship that your relationship will end shortly after. Yours could probably be a transitional relationship.
Be careful out there. Take it slowly or you are going to get hurt.Treat any commitment issues with caution.
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A
female
reader, Lexie88 +, writes (15 March 2010):
 You should stop sleeping with him until you are in a committed relationship. He says you're friends but he's sleeping with you? Friends don't sleep with each other. He's using you and you need to stop, because it's you who's going to get hurt in the end.
I assume you have feelings for this guy and that's why you're confused and hurt. If you keep sleeping with him without a committment/relationship, you'll just be more confused and hurt.
Don't do that to yourself...you're worth much more than this. I say you should stop the physical side of things, tell him if you're only friends then that's all there'll be to it. And don't let him push you into anything. Don't believe him if he starts saying that he's not ready but 'might' change his mind. It's all or nothing.
You've come to a point where you're rightly questioning this 'arrangement.' Take it one step further and end it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2010): Being friend's with benefits with someone is never the way to go, especially if you're the girl in the relationship. For the most part you can't have an intimate relationship with someone without developing, or suppressing, a few feelings along the way. Odds are, you'll end up hurt.
If you want more, it would be best for you to talk to him about it. If he doesn't see your relationship turning into something more, than you're gonna have to ask yourself is the emotional baggage you'll end up with really gonna worth it in the long run?
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A
female
reader, adamantine +, writes (15 March 2010):
 Well this is the thing with FWB relationships. Feelings often become entangled in this web and its hard to escape. You need to clarify exactly what you want to him, and ask him the same.
To me it seems like he is not looking for a relationship. Most men have the capability to separate sex from love. A lot of women do not.
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