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Just as I finally get over him he starts talking to me again but he has a girlfriend!

Tagged as: Breaking up, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 April 2009) 1 Answers - (Newest, 20 April 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, *achakaRoni writes:

Last March my 2 year relationship ended by him. He broke my heart, he was seeing someone else. I found this really hard to deal with because this was my first proper relationship. I finally was nearly over it by October time. Then he all of a sudden he starts to talk to me every few months. But then it became every month and now is every few weeks. And it's starting to send me back into my depressed state that I was in last year. He says things he shouldn't say because he is still with that girl he dumped me for. Is he just keeping his options open by saying these things and talking to me? Does he mean them and regrets his decision? or another reason?. Any answers will be greatfully received. Thank you xxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2009):

This must be confusing for you! Obviously I don't know what this guy wants, but there are some reasons I can think of. It could be that he would like to just be friends with you, and doesn't realise how it is affecting you. He might miss you and regret leaving you. Or he might be happy with his girlfriend and just stringing you along, playing on your vulnerable state around him.

Whatever he wants, I think it is unfair of him to do this to you though, especially as you had just started to move on. I think you need to find out from him what he wants, and tell him straight what you want. If you can't deal with him being all friendly with you, then you could ask him to leave you alone. Or if he does genuinely want you back, then he needs to sort things out about his girlfriend.

It is hard to advise on this situation, because this guy's motives are unclear. I think he does need to be told how you are feeling though, and that you want to know what he is playing at. I would advise you to just be careful though, and keep your eyes open. Listen to your head about this one, not just your heart. And trust your instincts.

Good luck, and I hope this helps in some way. x

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