A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi! I was just hoping someone could give me advice, i have a few questions and i need someone else's opinions! Alright so, how do you know when you're ready to love again? what's love supposed to feel like? also, how do you know when you're over someone, even though they're always on your mind even when you don't even know you're thinking about them? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, spinnaker +, writes (9 June 2011):
 you are ready to love when you are ready to put forth that sacrifice.
Love is not a feeling it is an action word. When you are ready to devote time and energy into another person then you are ready to be in love.
Being over someone takes time. First thing is that you need to reconcile your feelings. Allow yourself to be hurt and allow yourself to cry. Most people bury their feelings then (surprise surprise) everything comes up in the next relationship.
Burying your feelings is not independent, or manly or anything else positive. It is childish and stupid - and never works in the long term.
Once you get all that out of the way, start investing in yourself. Pick one thing you would want to improve and work on #1 for a while. In my experience, many people have trouble loving others because they can not come to love themselves - so they hide in relationships thinking that they will be happy. NEVER WORKS.
Once all of this is in place you will be in a much better position to make a commitment to someone and you will be far less likely to become someone's door mat.
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