A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I use to have the best relationship ever with my boyfreind and now it all seems to have gone wrong. I use to have plans to move in together, get married (well, civil partnership) and all live happily ever after. At 23 these feelings were new to me, as i have never felt this way before. It was like i was getting high on love!Then about a month ago things went so wrong.....We were in bed and he woke me up at 3am and wanted sex (we had been out that night and i was a bit drunk and very tired!) and he just wouldnt leave it and he went on and on so i turned around and said 'fuck off'. The morning after i really regreted it, i knew i was wrong, and i did all i could to make it up, waited on him, bought him stuff etc. Since this time though its all gone wrong. I go to work and come home to him (hes out of work at the moment) and he just snaps at me, purposly tries to annoy me and goes out of his way to make me feel bad and secind class. our sex life barely exists.Ive tried talking about it, changing myself, personality and everything about 10 times over and nothing seems to work, ever. Does anyone please know how i can save my relationship with a man that i once would go to the ends of the world for, but now wouldnt even go to the end of the street for.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi, i wrote this Qyestion.
Just wanted to say thanks for the advice to you two.
It always helps to get a second and third opinion.
I think things are starting to work out now aswell, so maybee a happy ending after all.
Thanks
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2009): Some of the key factors in a lasting, respectful relationship: open communication, compromise, consideration, perceptive understanding, team-work-----When I was with one of my former lovers, I remember an evening where we were both very tired, but I was still very much 'ready' and tried initiating sex with her. After some 'prodding', she finally gave in and I initiated it. However, not more than a minute later, I realized how inconsiderate I was and completely stopped, apologized and gave her a kiss.The following morning, noticing how sore her back was from all the moving we did in the prior day, I gave her a long spa-massage. Indeed, that was 'enough' foreplay, along with other subtle actions throughout that day to make that evening one of our best. =====The purpose of my story above is to show you what it means to be in a mature relationship that doesn't require anyone to change themselves drastically, nor does it require anyone to go to great lengths in pleasing either person, due to the inconsideration of that same person from the start.If you are seriously willing to demean yourself to someone like him, then continue to allow others to walk all over you. He seems immature at best. To hold a grudge for something so minor, having him be so inconsiderate. I would first bite my tongue, slap myself and at the very least try to make up to you, before getting angry at you for not giving me sex.
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A
female
reader, shygrl86  +, writes (1 September 2009):
 Wow. Man vs. Women or Man vs. Man, it is the same shit all over.
You are only human and you are not perfect. None of us are. You have done your best in trying to fix what should not have even been broken.
The only thing I can think of is to talk. Sit down and ask him what is going on, or write him a letter.
Maybe you are just seeing his true colors. Maybe this is the person he really is. Take care of yourself because from where I am standing you made a simple FORGIVABLE mistake.
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