A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys im pretty much after making the biggest decision of my life. I went out with a boy for over three months and as you can laugh or whatever i really love him. I know this because of the way he made me feel, the way he kissed me the way i could tell him anything no matter how stupid and the way after a year and a half i cry when i hear of him being with other girls. This boy hurt me in our relationship, and i wont go into the detail because i could be here all day and eventually about six months ago i talked to him again. Well this morning i sent him a text message telling him i love him to bits and my feelings havent gone away. I had to do it because it was tearing me up and i need to know how he feels so i can move on. Now im thinking it was a really foolish thing to do because he hasnt texted back yet so this means he obviously doesnt feel the same. As i write this i feel weak and stupid over what i did. This is because his friend is seeing my friend and sooner or later everyone will know about it and they will probably all laugh at me.How can i move on from this? I really love this boy even after all he has done to me in terms of breaking my heart and other stuff. How do i face him again? Im in bits here because i knew i had to do it and was half prepared for the consequences but the thoughts of him being with another girl who isnt me make me feel sick. I know you will probably tell me to move on but i kind of was seeing a guy up until now and this made no difference in my decision to text my ex. Im so confused over the whole thing. How do i try to make things work with the new guy who i genuinly do like? How can i stop comparing him to my ex? Im in bits here so any help would mean so much to me because ive nowhere else to turn and i feel like such a fool and an idiot.
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move on, my ex, text Reply to this Question |
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2008): I don't think you want to hear advidce from someone younger than you but, obviously he wasnt doing something right if he is you ex, so why keep comparing when what your comparing to is something that you don't want a rerun of?
A
female
reader, alexia2  +, writes (24 March 2008):
 I do know what you`re talking about. Maybe, just like me, you are one of those persons hanging on to the past, not because things were great or better then, but because you are idealizing them. This happens, of course, when you are not completely satisfied with what you are having right now. Breaking up with someone you loved has never been easy, but you can move on if you are a strong person, with many friends, a person involved in all kind of activities. If you`re not, then you have to find another one to love. This is what weak persons do - I do that... Obviously, this new partner has to be equal (but that is impossible) with your ex, if not BETTER. If he`s not better, you won`t be able to be happy with him and forget your ex. Because we want the best for us, we do not accept to lower our standards for anyone. My point is you cannot move on because your present boyfriend is not 100% what you want and if you are not happy with him now, at the beginning of your relationship, when things are supposed to be great, imagine what you would be like later on... The other reason why I think you cannot forget your ex is the fact that you cannot tolerate he might be seeing and loving some other girl. Cause this contradicts your belief that you are special (aren`t we all special?) and it`s only you who deserves his love...
I cannot adivise you of anything, it is you who has to make up your mind, find the roots of the problem and find the solution.
If this helps, well, you are not alone!
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A
female
reader, Miss C  +, writes (23 March 2008):
 I don't think it's silly at all that you still love your ex. I had a similar problem not that long ago actually. I like you had my heart broken and spent 5 months wondering why things had to change and wondering what had happened to the wonderful guy I fell in love with. For the past 5 months I was hearing things from him like - I love you, I hate you, I never wnat to speak to you again, I miss you, Of course I regret breaking up with you, I only thought I'd loved you, I haven't moved on, I'm so glad I've moved on. (Yes all of which contradict each other lol.) I finally found the strength to just decdide I couldn't live that way anymore where I was hanging onto his every word when clearly he was messing me about, especially when I had made it clear I still loved him from the beginning. The best decision I ever made in regards to helping me move on was just to ignore him completely because there is absolutely no point in dwelling over what went wrong. I believe things happen for a reason and a guy who hurt you so badly that it took you 6 months to talk to him again is obviously not worth it. It's been a year and a half now and I guess if your still as much in love with him as you were then a part of you still thinks there's a glimmer of hope that you two will be together again. The only way to move forward is to look forward and not back. It seems to me that you feel dating someone else will take away your feelings for our ex but I'd advise you against that. Many people believe that hooking up with someone else is the ideal way to get over a relationship but it's not. It just hurts more. You say you genuinely like him but it isn't fair to stay with him if you've just admitted to your ex you still love him. I think in both yours and his best interests, it's best to break it off now rather than later. You need to be single, keep busy, go out with friends and learn to enjoy independence. That's something I found hard because I relied on my ex to make me happy. Then when your ready, you should date again.
As for telling your ex that you still love him, I don't think it's stupid and I don't think it's something people will laugh it but he never replied so i think your question has been answered - he has moved on and harsh as that may be, at least you know that you can carry on with your life again. I don't know if this is true in your case but for many guys its an ego boost knowing that their ex still loves them so now that you've told him once, don't continue to contact him about your feelings. Let that be it now and don't look back. Best of luck! Email me any time. Miss C xx
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A
female
reader, Miss C +, writes (23 March 2008):
I don't think it's silly at all that you still love your ex. I had a similar problem not that long ago actually. I like you had my heart broken and spent 5 months wondering why things had to change and wondering what had happened to the wonderful guy I fell in love with. For the past 5 months I was hearing things from him like - I love you, I hate you, I never wnat to speak to you again, I miss you, Of course I regret breaking up with you, I only thought I'd loved you, I haven't moved on, I'm so glad I've moved on. (Yes all of which contradict each other lol.) I finally found the strength to just decdide I couldn't live that way anymore where I was hanging onto his every word when clearly he was messing me about, especially when I had made it clear I still loved him from the beginning. The best decision I ever made in regards to helping me move on was just to ignore him completely because there is absolutely no point in dwelling over what went wrong. I believe things happen for a reason and a guy who hurt you so badly that it took you 6 months to talk to him again is obviously not worth it. It's been a year and a half now and I guess if your still as much in love with him as you were then a part of you still thinks there's a glimmer of hope that you two will be together again. The only way to move forward is to look forward and not back. It seems to me that you feel dating someone else will take away your feelings for our ex but I'd advise you against that. Many people believe that hooking up with someone else is the ideal way to get over a relationship but it's not. It just hurts more. You say you genuinely like him but it isn't fair to stay with him if you've just admitted to your ex you still love him. I think in both yours and his best interests, it's best to break it off now rather than later. You need to be single, keep busy, go out with friends and learn to enjoy independence. That's something I found hard because I relied on my ex to make me happy. Then when your ready, you should date again.
As for telling your ex that you still love him, I don't think it's stupid and I don't think it's something people will laugh it but he never replied so i think your question has been answered - he has moved on and harsh as that may be, at least you know that you can carry on with your life again. I don't know if this is true in your case but for many guys its an ego boost knowing that their ex still loves them so now that you've told him once, don't continue to contact him about your feelings. Let that be it now and don't look back. Best of luck! Email me any time. Miss C xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the help but i still need more suggestions pls
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (23 March 2008):
 Your ex is like last years fashion outfit that has gone out of fancy.
Treat him like an out of date dress.
Put it into the cold storage and never think of it again.
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