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I've never had sex with anyone but my ex

Tagged as: Sex, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 September 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 19 September 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I'm a little embarrased by this but I don't know if I should be. Let's start off like this: I am a 25 year old, single mother of two beautiful kids. I was married for 6 years to my kids' dad. I have been single for almost two whole years and have yet to seriously date. I've gone on a few dates- nothing serious though. Here's my problem: I've never had sex with anyone but my ex! I'm afraid I think. Part of me wants to just find some random dude to have sex with to get over the fear but the other part of me doesn't. I'm a little old-fashioned- if me and my ex would've worked out I would've been perfectly content with only having slept with 1 man. Now, though, I'd be content with only 2! But things don't seem to work that way in this day and age. It's not for religious reasons in fact I'm an atheist. Is it intimidating to know that the girl you're dating has only slept with 1 person? Is that strange and should I get a little more "experience" before attempting something serious? Please reply! Thanks!

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A male reader, outofcontrol United States +, writes (19 September 2010):

Don't worry about being embarrased. I just got out of a year long relationship with a lot of similarities to your situation. I was married young with very little experience with women. I am also old fasioned like that. We had a great marriage for 5 years along with two kids, and my wife passed away. I went the next 3 years without sleeping with any other women for the same reasons you haven't gotten involved with other men. I met a single mother who was married young, had two kids and when she got divorced had only been with one man. In the three years after her divorce and before we met, she wanted as much sexual experience as she could get. We got together and and tried to combine our families, but that wholesome, pure feeling was never there and our relationship suffered for it. I don't think I will ever find that again. From talking to other men and my experience as well, your situation is absolutely nothing to worry about. You will meet someone new and have the opportunity to start from scratch with no worries.

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A male reader, rcn United States +, writes (19 September 2010):

rcn agony auntI agree with the other poster. You don't need to run out looking for experience. You don't know who you'll meet next. It may be someone who doesn't have experience as well, and you two can learn and experience together. So, I wouldn't just run out looking for experience, because you expect others to have some. Follow the direction you choose because it's what's right for you.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2010):

You have absolutely nothing to be embarrased about,in fact,guys dont really take it well if you've had alot of lovers.This will score you alot of points if a guy is interested in dating you.Dont feel bad.Im a guy,speaking a guys point of you.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (19 September 2010):

A decent guy won't care in the slightest about experience and how many guys you've been with. Actually, you sleeping with one guy may make it all a bit easier for you (some guys still find it hard to deal with the idea of a woman having a lot of lovers - just check this site out for that). Just relax and find the right guy for you.

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