A
female
age
36-40,
*ellybeans20009
writes:I'm 21 and have been a sufferer of uncontrollable flatulence for five years now. It has crushed me many times over for the past few years. For a while, I was ok being single. I could imagine myself spending the rest of my life alone.But recently I went on a date with this incredibly, almost too perfect to be true guy. That one date alone drained me of all my energy because I was trying to control it. I don't think I could go on another one without telling him. My friend thinks I should wait to tell him until the 4th date. I don't know what to do. It isn't as if I'm deeply emotionally involved with him yet. It's just that for the first time in my life I am able to stare into the eyes of a really decent guy and have him notice me back. I'm scared as hell. My friend says that if he doesn't accept it then he isn't the guy for me. I think I would just end up being more frustrated about my problem more than ever. I have had a past anxiety attack over it. I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should pass up this chance or just plunge deep in and embarrass myself. I am so frustrated, so confused.
View related questions:
crush, notice me Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, jellybeans20009 +, writes (29 July 2009):
jellybeans20009 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have decided to just straight forwardly explain to him that I do not know enough of him yet to begin a relationship with him. We have decided to become friends.
Despite this "illness" that I have, I realized that I can not let it defeat me. I have to live my life the way that it should be lived even if I didn't have it. I am going to seek therapy and become a stronger person. I realize now that I need to keep my head up, because I'll never know what good thing will come my way. I want to be ready for it.
Thank you everybody for your suggestions and support. Much love.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2009): I don't think he'll be all that concerened because men fart all the time, they even have farting competitions to see who can produce the loudest or smelliest one. They also have 'Guess who dropped that one?' competitions in their local pub whereas women generally try to hide it. The thing is, it's natural. If you can't control it to some extent by varying your diet (by cutting down on the fibre) the best you can hope for is to make a joke of it. If he asks you to stop it, ask him which way it went, that sort of thing.
If you squeeze your cheeks together in an attempt to hold it in they'll vibrate more, so lift a leg to reduce the wind resistance and quieten them down a bit.
...............................
A
female
reader, cheysula +, writes (28 July 2009):
Boy, that's a hard one. I'm so sorry for your predicament, sweetie. I have a non-visible medical injury that always makes me look like a hypochondriac, so I *somewhat* know how you're feeling.I think you should go on a second date with him. You know you will always regret it if you don't. Feel him out and get to know him better. I don't know much about your condition, but is there some way to make it a bit better, such as different foods, or exercises. Maybe you could just go somewhere loud and open, like a carnival, where it won't matter. (I'm so sorry if that sounds insensitive; just a suggestion.)Relax, let yourself have fun, and remember that your friends are right: If he can't handle it, he isn't the right one for you. And I do think you can wait until the third or fourth date to tell him; I don't think he will mind not knowing until then.Good luck!
...............................
|
