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It seems like my boyfriend only wants sex, but I don't. How do I handle this?

Tagged as: Sex, Teenage, Troubled relationships, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 July 2009) 5 Answers - (Newest, 9 August 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, *RS.SCOOTA writes:

Okay I'm 15 and I'm still a virgin and I have a boyfriend that keeps asking for sex and Im not ready for that yet...I mean like I'm ready but I just want him to wait...because the longer he wait the better my reputation be at the end.I mean I like him alot and he's only 19 yeah I know thats too old but I really like him.But I jus dnt wnt rush nothing with him yet though...and Everytime I tell him that he wants 2 leave.He keeps telling me that sex is not all he wants.but to me thats wht it seems like...so I asked him can we get 2 know eachother a lil better 1st then let every thing else fall in place...Can you please tell me what I need 2 do?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2009):

Not to offend the one honest 19yo guy underage girl couple out there but really, any reason a 19yo guy could have for being with a girl your age is almost guaranteed to be sex. If he wanted a relationship he'd date someone his own age. Girls get pulled in by the "maturity" of older guys but don;t really realize that if they want to have an actual relationship they really need to be with someone who is going through the same things they are. And maybe your just really mature for your age and need to be with someone older but I really don;t think that's the case.

This guy just wants you because he thinks that younger girls will be more eager to please and you should strongly consider finding a guy closer to your age(when your 15 anyone more than two years older than you is starting to get iffy, if you really prefer older guys try a 16yo).

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2009):

He's "only" 19?

This is why age really does matter.

His age is forcing you to deal with something that you shouldn't have to yet. Would you be having this much of an issue with another 15yo boy?

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A female reader, kayla20 United Kingdom +, writes (28 July 2009):

kayla20 agony auntto be honest with u his a 19 yr old boy and what do they want sex its number 1 on there agenda.if keeping ur virginity is such a big thing at this time and he cant understand that then his not worth it and hel end up hurting u.dont let anyone influence u into something u dont want to do.i know u really like him but at 19 hes going to want sex all the time and if he doesnt get it from u el find it somewhere he doesnt care that ur a virgin he just wants to relieve himself and thats not very romantic now is it to be honest if he cant wait until ur ready then u should find someone else who respects u enough to wait for u

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A female reader, ilovebowsandcherries United Kingdom +, writes (28 July 2009):

ilovebowsandcherries agony auntGet rid of him.

you're right he's only in it for the sex and good for you for not giving into him. alot of girls could learn alot from you. you're right you should get to know eachother better first before making that type of committment it's a big step and big involvement.

you do have to be so careful with STD's and pregnancies.

all i can say is leave him i mean he's 19 that's all he wants from a vulnerable girl and you're underage so he could get into trouble even if you initiate it.

you're better off out of this relationship hun he's all about one thing.

Hope this helps.

x ilovebowsandcherries x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2009):

he just wants in your pants... isn't it obvious? you're only a year younger than me... don't be so naiive. what else would a 19 year old want with a 15 year old..?

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