A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I have a boyfiend who loves me. There is also an idiot boy that I fancied for ages. I had an almost obessive crush on him. He was handsome and ever so flirty and nice and nominated me "his favorite girl". We had a 'thing' about two years ago. We both do music and undrstand each other well so I started to like him. I liked him a bit more than necessary, but I wasn't about to do anything about it. Then one evening, we clicked and we met each other daily, held hands and kissed. It was very chaste and I initiated everything that went a bit further than just kissy-kissing. He felt excited about it and told me to go slow and according to his friends he was very unexperienced. It would have been peachy but he suddenly stopped calling me, avoided me in public and called off our dates one minute before we were supposed to meet. I don't want to be mean, but I suspected he was in the closet. Not that I mind but I woud have ikd to spare my feelings if I'd known I was barking up the wrong tree. He thought my breasts,- any breasts, were odd and went on and on how gay guys were handsome. So to spare myself when I have moved away I didnt contact him. I met him after I boke up with my ex and he didn't seem inteestd (but he went on about Canada's fabulous gay parts of towns). Suddenly he barges back into my life when I hav a lovely boyfriend I love in a different way. But when I saw him my heart burst and when he asked wether I was dating or single, I lied and said I was single. We kissed and although it fet akward, I want to see him again. The oddest part is that it doesät feel like cheating at all. What am I to do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (27 November 2007):
 Your to tell your boyfriend what you were doing. That's a must and it's out of respect to do that. It's normal for women to feel attractions to gay men. If women are shopping for outfits and a women isn't around ot assist, a gay male is usually a good second choice to ask about clothing. Women get so upset because the gay men are gay with their ability to relate to them better than streight men.
This attraction may not be sexual at all, it may just be like two girlfriends meeting up.
You shouldn't have lied. You deceived both men by doing so. You kissed someone while dating someone else (absolutely no excuse), and you lied to a friend and said you were single. The ocntent of you lie doesn't make a difference, the fact is in the lie itsself. Relationsihps, including friendships are built on honest, and acting in a manner of trust. Not doing so, you could actually loose both people. Your boyfriend, for cheating (it doesn't matter how you looked at it) and your friend for lying. Many people don't want to be friends with people you can't tell them the truth. You were selfish here and you need to come clean before you really get bitten.
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