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female
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anonymous
writes: Please help i've really fallen for my best friend's boyfriend. Me and my best friend have known each other for six years and we are so close we are like sisters. I would never do anything to hurt her. I live in a different country to her now but I went there for a holiday and met her boyfriend, he's lovely, I had been speaking to him for a month on the internet before we met and I knew I liked him then. Now that I've met him I like him even more. I get the feeling he likes me too as he's always telling me how great I am. But he also always talks about how much he loves my best friend and that really upsets me but I have never told him that. I don't think there's any point in saying anything because it would ruin everything and I value our friendship too much and don't want to hurt my best friend. It's really bringing me down and her boyfriend is all I can think about. please help i dont know whether i should tell him how i feel.
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female
reader, Anyquestion  +, writes (1 March 2009):
 First of all how much do you value you friendship?and are you really in love?It can be hard but if you really want to stay friend's with this person you've got to get rid of these feeling for her boyfriend!But you should tell her how you feel and if she's a true friend she will understand!But the soloution is to find a rebound guy!I've been in your position and it really helps to talk it through!Good luck!
A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (27 June 2006):
 I agree with the last post! Find a boyfriend who is (a) local to you and (b) not with your best mate. Even if you got together with her boyfriend he wouldn't be a 'prize' anymore because you would be constantly wondering what he was up to if he was that easily tempted. I am sure he is a nice guy, but there are lots of nice guys out there...don't ruin a brilliant friendship over a fella as that is just not a good way to run your life. Distraction is the name of the game...
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (27 June 2006):
 It sounds like him and your best friend are in a good relationship. Because of this you have to suppress your feelings and let them be. It's not easy, but to try to push this would be treachery of the worst sort towards your friend.
Fortunately there is a solution. You need to find a (different) boyfriend. Maybe he has some nice friends?
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