A
male
age
41-50,
*andomrunnerdude
writes:Ok so before I ask for advice a lil background on my female friend. Ten years ago we had a short relationship she was 19 I was 21 and she was my friends lil sister. She ended up breaking it off to see someone else, ten years later we become best friends while she is trying to set me up with her friend, never hanging out once in the last 10 years. It never happened with her friend but we grew so close talking about our relationships with others. I never really looked at her as a potential partner just a great friend but we ended up hooking up one night back in November, when both were completely drunk. She had a b/f at time so it didnt go far, I stil never saw myself in a relationship with her, even though she would hint at the possibility of us in future. She does not have a good track record when it comes to being loyal to her men. She just basically got dumped by a guy she was seeing for a a short time only about 2 months. So we have been going out more just the 2 of us, and would hook up only when drunk though, when sober just act as friends, which I know sounds strange. We have been talking alot about us in a relationship and our doubts about what is holding each other back, but I feel that I am able to put some of my trust issues aside, to explore what we could be, she states not ready to make the plunge into a relationship. It seems so complicated but just last night we did take the leap and had sex for first time in 10 yrs, it was great and we hung out all day today as well. I dont want to rush things but she told me friday night what is really holding her back is that she has that forever feeling with me, and if we did get into a relationship it would be her last, now this doesnt make alot of sense but she acts more like a guy when it comes to relationships. We will be spending alot of time together but she states she does want me to still see other people also, but also when asked by her friend the other night, if she would be ok with me with another women she admitted would not like it. There is also the fact that she will be going to Hawaii for 3 weeks over xmas and new years, and says she doesn't want a b/f and then not be around him over holidays. It was my suggestion for us to have a fwb type relationship, so if didnt work could fo back to being friends. We have both said we love each other but are just unsure of where we are going in this relationship...but I think after this weekend I have fallen for her and dont want to see other peoppl but not sure if I should just let it play out and see where it goes or try to turn it into something exclusive. I feel if I do push for that it will just end all together.
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female
reader, Brokenv  +, writes (25 August 2014):
Yikes......You have feelings for this girl. You can't be FWBs. FWBs is a relationship that is just for sex. To me a FWBs is not a friendly relationship just a sexual act. Nothing less nothing more.
Someone is going to get hurt.....and I think that is you. You my friend are on the loosing end of the stick.
You seem to sort of know what kind of gal she is in relationships. From what you are writing I don't think she is looking for a commitment. I think you are.
I think you should back away. Tell her exactly how you are feeling. You guys are old enough to not be playing games. Tell her want you want.
Good Luck!
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