A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:how can i pick myself up. ive recently discovered a man i thought was a good friend has used me for personal gain. whenever he needed money-i was the only one he trusted -i feel so stupid. when he started my job he seemed genuine and i did like him a lot but then he begam with the lies and not just little ones-my two good friends saw staight through him but i couldnt-i was blinkered. i stopped him losing his job aswell-basically been a damn good friend to him and been repaid like this. im extremely hurt yet he doesnt seem to care. he used to tease me a lot and knowing i liked him kept showing me texts women sent him and kept going on about women after him. he mentioned the other week how hes leaving london because hes found the 'one' and wants to start a new life in nottingham. i cant describe how hollow and used i feel. i done everything to help him and im really angry. he doesnt seem to lie to anyone else but did to me. and now hes just getting away with it and theres little i can do i keep hoping he'll get his comeuppance but i feel horrible then :( what shall i do :(
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (6 November 2011):
 Well, maybe have a good long talk with the two friends who DID see through him - Ask them how they knew. TRUST your friends.
It happens that you met people in life who aren't "good" to be around. So in the furture before you go out on a limb for someone you don't really know that well. Take your time to think it over. And understand that there is NOTHING wrong in seeing good in everyone. It just mean you can get taken for a ride here and there.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2011): What specifically did he lie about? Him finding the one has nothing to do with repaying money he owes you. Did he not pay you back?When you lend someone money and even help with their job, they aren't obligated to put their life on hold for you or live their life on your terms. They don't need permission to date or have a personal life or even share that with you. They can date who they want and do what they want. Did you have an agreement in place as far as a payment schedule? Helping him not lose his job only entitles you to maybe a "thank you".
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (5 November 2011):
 Some guys are users.... and are so graceful at it that even the most discriminating woman gets taken in by him....Chalk this up to a very unpleasant experience that you will look out for in the future... and get on with your life.... and find a NICE guy to spend time with.....Good luck...
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