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I've developed a crush on my boyfriend's childhood friend

Tagged as: Crushes, Faded love, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 June 2013) 2 Answers - (Newest, 13 June 2013)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I'm 24 female, and I have been with my 28 year old partner for 4 years. Just recently he's got back in touch with an old friend from his childhood who has moved back into our village and we often invite him over for drinks, the three of us go on nights out together, nights away, and dog walks etc..

I really enjoy his and my partners company but lately whilst we've been out walking our dogs, I've found myself wishing that my partner wasn't there and it was just the two of us going on a romantic walk together. I am attracted to everything about him, I've even found myself trying to be alone with him to see if anything would happen between us. If I know that he's coming round for the night I always make sure I look my best.

I feel guilty and ashamed for having these feelings for him because my partner and him are very close and deep down I think I know that he wouldn't ever try anything with me because of his friendship with my partner.

I love my partner but I'm not IN love with him. We've been together for a long time and we have no sex life. I find it boring with him and often fantasize about having sex with his friend.

I know I should leave him and try to find someone that meets my needs but I would be upset if we ever split up as he is all I've known for 4 years. I've never fancied felt this way about another man in our relationship before and I do feel really guilty but he just seems perfect for me.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

xx

View related questions: crush, sex life, split up

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (13 June 2013):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntTell your current "partner" that you find your relationship... including the non-existent sex life and the boredom..... to be not very fulfilling... and that you have taken to fantasizing that his childhood friend is likely to be a better match for you.... so.... "would you kindly step aside.... and/or disappear.... so that I might hook up with your childhood friend??? He seems oh-so-much more interesting than you?"

That should do it....

Goood luck...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2013):

The question you need to ask yourself is that are you willing to live the rest of your life that way? Its only natural for others to have an attraction to others ( and even fantasize about other people while having sex) but after 4 years and still, your love isn't blossoming the way it should, I believe you should cut it loose or make an effort to switch things up and make your relationship a little more interesting, but its not fair to either one of you to be in a relationship were you're not feeling the way you should! theres someone out there who will be in love with him like he deserves and someone out there who will do the same for you and the feelings will be mutual. don't miss out on something amazing because you're afraid to let go of something that's satisfactory . Don't let your blessing pass you by!

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