A
female
age
13-15,
anonymous
writes:Hey, i'm 14 years old and before i go into anything personal, i am very mature for my age when it comes to relationships. Like i've never had an actual relationship with any boys my age as i think they are too imature.(i prob sound like a brat or big headed but im not, lol) Well i'm seeing this boy, and i'm still a virgin but he wants me to lose his virginity to him and i want to but im not sure whether i should in case i regret it later on as i'm not actually in a relationship with him. I've wanted to lose my virginity for a long time now but i have always said that i will lose my virginity if i'm in a relationship with someone for a fairly long time, but I dont know what to do now!If anyone can help, please do!!Thanks xx
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2008): Seeing older guys doesn't make you mature. One has nothing to do with the other.
If a 15yo boy you knew was messing with 12yo girls, would you think it was because those 12yo girls were "mature for their age?"
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008): i am not saying 14 is too young to lose your virginity, loads of my friends lost it at that age and dont regret it at all.HOWEVER there is a fine line between being observed as mature and experienced by other people, and being observed as easy and promiscuous by other people. i think if you lose your virginity to this guy you will cross the line and people will think of you as the latter. but if you dont care what others think and how guys may treat you after finding out, then go ahead if u feel the time and moment is right x good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008): heloo you should defo not lose yur virginty untill you find the right person and wait untill yur like 18 19 or wen you have found some1 tht u wnt 2 spend yur hold life with if tht boy says he wnts it then say no and if he stays with yh then hes good if not hes just did it 2 use yh sorry hope it gose well 4 yh
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A
male
reader, Dr Pete + ♥, writes (5 May 2008):
 I think that is very well said from Uncle Phil. You should bookmark this URL and read your question and the answers in 3 or 4 years, I think you'll find it very interesting.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008): First off, if you doubt whether or not you're ready, you probably aren't. Losing your virginty is a big deal and should be something you share with someone you love. You shouldn't have any doubts. Just keep in mind that you are only 14 years old and no matter how mature you are you still have quite a few years to find someone you love to lose your virginity to.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008): I think that this is a question that you and only you can answer. It depends on how much u charish your virginity. When you are older and find the boy that you love and you marry him, do u want him to do be the first person that you have sex with or does it not matter to you. I lost my virginity when i was 14 and have had many partners, but i have found the person that im gonna marry and sometimes i wish that i saved my self and sometimes im glad that i was experenced before i met them. So you just have to think about it and make ur own decition.
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A
male
reader, Uncle_Phil +, writes (5 May 2008):
 Right. Before we go any further, every 14 year old thinks they are mature for their age. Invariably they are not, and I suspect you are no exception. Also, any 14 year old who says they are not a brat or big headed individual invariably are, and I doubt you are anyu exception to that either.
The second two paragraphs of your question emphasise these facts.
Basically, you are not ready to lose your virginity and if you do you will almost certainly regret it. Save yourself until you are really in love with someone, which will in all probability not be until you are a lot older than you are now.
I know this isn't what you want to hear, but it's the truth, and I hope you've got sense enough to trust me on this. If you have to ask others if you should lose your virginity the answer, always, is that you should not.
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A
female
reader, rebecca.megan +, writes (5 May 2008):
if you've always told yourself that you want to be in a secure relationship when you lose your' virginity, then why go back on that? If you are as mature as you say you are, then you will wait for that special someone, then you'll have no regrets to worry about and you'll be much more respected.
I'm fourteen too, and have a boyfriend older than me, but i've told him i'm not ready for sex and that i want to wait, and he loves that about me as he knows i am mature for my age.
It's comletly your' decisson, but you've obviously come on here for advice, and in my opnion, your' not as ready as you think you are. Don't let a a boy your' not in love with &havn't gained trust&respect from take away something as important as this away from you. Its not worth it.
Hope this helps x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008): If you have doubts, you're not ready yet, that's what your heart is saying either he's not the one or the timing just isn't right. You only get to lose your virginity once, why settle? I didn't settle I waited I was nearly 19, I had sex with the man I knew I'd be with for life, we've been married 8 years now, I have zero regrets, for me it wasn't a morality thing I was just incapable of being with someone I wasn't in love with and who wasn't in love with me.If this boy is badgering you, he's not right for you, you should know that if you are mature, that a real man treats a woman with respect. There is no reason to rush, who cares if you feel mostly everyone around you has done it, a good deal of them are probably lying anyways. And having sex doesn't prove anything, especially not maturity. You owe it to yourself to be certain that you've found the right boy and its the right time. You should be able to talk to this boy about sex and protection, his sexual history, the possibility of pregnancy and so forth before you even consider having sex with him.Since you are considering it though its best to be prepared, know how to put on a condom keep one with you (yes you are a girl but you are responsible for your own safety) and consider starting birth control, make sure you ask your doctor when it becomes effective it can take a while and even if you are on birth control, still use a condom.
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A
female
reader, Rhian2020 +, writes (5 May 2008):
Hello,
When I was your age I also wanted to lose my virginity. But I decided to wait until I felt 100% ready and waited until I was 17 and in a long term relationship. It doesn't seem as though your completely ready to lose your virginity because you say that you might regret it later. If you have any doubts at all then you shouldn't do it. You may think that your very mature for your age but please think carefully about losing your virginity when your so young because it's a big thing to do and once you've lost it you won't get it back. But only you can decide whether you want to lose your virginity to this guy and if you do then please use contraception and don't do anything that you're not comfortable with.
Good luck.xx.
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A
female
reader, GothPod + ♥, writes (5 May 2008):
 I wouldn't sleep with somebody you're not in a relationship with. You may end up regretting it in the end. If he doesn't know you very well then he obviously doesn't want to sleep with you because he loves you!Losing your V card is a very big thing and so should be with someone you love and trust.May I also stress that you are underage, if you slept with someone who was legal then he would be breaking the law and would be punishable. If he is also underage you would both be breaking the law.I don't think it's a good idea. Save it until you are legal and in a stable relationship =]
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