A
male
age
51-59,
*azzup
writes:Hello. I've been dating this girl for about 4 months. We have a lot of activities in common. Both Gemini - if that matters. From the beginning I really liked her a lot and have fallen in love with her. About 2 weeks ago she wanted to end the romantic relationship as she said that she's not in love with me. Loves me - but not in love. We still see each other every second/third day but as friends. She claims that she's not ready for love. Personally I feel that I have perhaps smothered her by being all over her too much in the past months. However she still calls me very often to chat. I'm not sure if I should 'pull' back a bit and relax. I would cuddle with her much more than she would with me and I feel that I was putting in much more effort than she was. Advise? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, wazzup +, writes (29 August 2007):
wazzup is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOK, thanks for that. I guess i have someone special here. It's also that she gives mis-leading signals. She would initiate contact with me more than I would her. Also when I'm with her she gives me the feeling that she's 'into' me. The way she looks, touches me (non sexual) - which silly me - fools me. I would prefer (almost) not too see her, but then again I can't help myself. And, on top of that, of all the woman I have met, I have not met anybody that I can imagine would be better suited to me and my lifestyle - almost by far. I know that she has been hurt in the past from pretentious boyfriends and husband - so I think that she is wary and is 'checking' me out first. So, I will try and remain a good friend to her. Thanks for advise
A
male
reader, chilly-18  +, writes (28 August 2007):
 she had the guts to tell you she isn't in love with you and that takes courage. you should respect that and just be friends with her. you wouldnt want to be friend her by being to assertive when she doesnt want it. it would be best to have her as a friend than to not have her at all.
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A
female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (28 August 2007):
 I think you should thank your lucky stars that she had the guts to tell you the truth now, instead of deluding you for months or years and then pulling the plug. It takes alot of courage to tell a man that you don't share the same level of love for him, that he has for you. Especially when he's basically a good guy, and he's fun and easy to be around. You should just back off and be friends with her. Trying to pursue this relationship as a potential romance is going to end disasterously. Chemistry is either there, or it isn't. It can't be invented or created. Generally when a woman feels smothered, she will tell you that things are moving too fast, or that she needs a little space, but rarely would a woman say she is not in love with you if she's feeling smothered. It's sad news, but better to learn now than later. Good luck.
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