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writes: I had a first love when I was 14 years old,(grade 9). I met her at English camp. I felt happy every time I looked at her face. At that time I did not tell her that I love her.After that we were still close friends. Now it's 4 years past. My feelings for her have not changed. The problem is I'm afraid to tell her that I love her.I am not brave enough. I worry about the feedback (answer) after I tell her. If she says, no what will our relationship be ?Please help me! I've been waiting for her for 4 years. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2005): don't be afraid because you have to tell her about your feeling,and if she says no!, you and her can be friend, but if she says yes! that's a good news
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2005): Please wait before you tell her you "love" her. Love is a "term" that is so carelessly tossed around without people understanding it's seriously true meaning. Love takes time, efforts & total committment before you can get to that point of expressing it. It builds over time. It means dating first, getting to know her for the person she is inside. She may be a friend but dating will change the dynamics, quite a bit.
Why don't you just ask her out. And then take it from there, nice and slow. See where it leads you but don't get overly anxious to express your love too soon. That may just prove to scare her off for good. If you ask her out and she says 'no' then you know that she's not at the same place as you and you can remain friends. Saying no to dating her is far less hurtful than telling someone you "love them", only to have them tell you they don't "love you back". That is very painful to endure. Guard your heart for awhile until you date her and really get to know her as a woman, a person, and as your best friend.
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