A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Im in a long term relationship and can honestly say Ive never even turned my head at another guy in the 5 years we have been together but recently a guy at work has caught my attention and Im confused.I have only known him since december but he is such a nice person and does all that he can to make work run smoothly. We have had some light hearted conversations some which have been flirty and suggestive.He has invited me out a few times and I have declined, Im not a cheat and dont intend to become one. I also wont do anything that puts me in a position that I may not beable to resist but whenever he is near my heart beats out of my chest, he always says the right things and he is genuinely a nice person. When things are tough at home I only need to see him and it gives me such relief that my worries dissappear for a while. After all this time with my boyfriend why would I even consider someone else in this way, does this make me a bad person?
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at work, flirt, long distance Reply to this Question
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female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (22 July 2008):
 You say when things are tough at home, so obviously you are not happy at the moment. Maybe its the stress of being a working mum etc but I feel something is lacking in your life.
We often get 'crushes' on people we spend a lot of time with but there is no guarantee this guy will make you any happier in fact an affair and eventual break up with your boyfriend will only lead to more heartache.
Put this guy out of your head, if its not him it would have been someone else because of whats going on at home. Work out what is making you unhappy or why you feel your life is not how it should be. Talk to your boyfriend about your feelings, work on your relationship together first, if you truly love him then is only fair to give it a go. If it fails at least you have tried and not been unfaithful. x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2008): I believe this may have been mistitled? (if thats a word) The post does not mention being long distance?
I would say that you need to take a step back and look at your current relationship, have you lost interest?, has it run its course or is it worth injecting some extra time and effort in to get you through this affair of the heart? I understand that you have not actually encouraged this person in any way and that you must love your partner as you have remained faithful even with these feelings but you need to make a choice, are you happy or not? if not and the other guy interests you then end your relationship and go and enjoy this other person.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2008): Hi, I am the poster.Someone has misread this it doest say I was in a long distance relationship, it says long term. Infact I live with my partner and we have children together, so he is not my first love or anything like that he is the one I planned to be with always, thats why I cant understand these other feelings.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2008): you are too young to tie yourself down to your first love. move on and live your life. see what happens with this new guy.
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A
male
reader, Wulfgrimm +, writes (22 July 2008):
Because he is THERE, you don't have to wait weeks, or months to see him. You can see him pretty much when ever you want. Further more your flattered that he is "interested" makes you feel wanted. It happends, one of the reasons long distance relationships suck.
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A
male
reader, TheVirg +, writes (22 July 2008):
Well, it doesn't make you a bad person to want him, but being faithful to a guy is very hard at long distances and he may have felt the same way about another girl before. Just be careful.
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