A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been seing a married woman for almost a year. It started out with me listening to her problems with her husband and offering advice. Then it moved into occasional hugging and kissing.About 6 months ago she told me that she loved me but couldn't leave her husband for fear of upsetting her children (12 and 17 years old). Since then we have started having sex fairly infrequently. The majority of our contact is via text messaging and email.I don't think she's trying to have her cake and eat it as such because she suffers from paranoia at getting caught and feels terrible guilt. Obviously I tell her that we'll have to stop seeing each other but she insists she wants to see me.Under the right circumstances I know we'd be great together. She's one of my best friends, we enjoy each others company hugely and can talk for hours. But for the time being she won't leave her husband. She says she is waiting for him to leave her so she doesn't have to be the "bad guy" in her childrens' eyes. I've asked her if the marriage is fixable, she says yes but says she has no interest in trying.What I'm trying to get across is that this isn't a lust-filled affair. It is really much, much more. My question is: am I wasting my time? Is she taking me for a ride?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2008): I think for your own self respect you have to let her go. It is not right for her to keep you hanging on a string. She has a relationship in crisis that she needs to address.
It would be different if it was just sex - you would not care!! But you do care, and you are available and she needs your comfort - okay for her but not so you.
I'ld say move on. If you are mean't to get together you will. I definitely wouldn't hang around for the day she leaves her husband - that could drag out god knows how long
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