A
male
age
30-35,
*ndy00
writes:It's been almost 2 years to the day that my first love broke things off with me. For the past couple of months I feel like I've been able to get on with things without too many problems. I had a bit of a wobble several weeks ago when I actually cried for her. I can't believe that I can still get that upset over losing her. I'm pretty sure that she stopped thinking about me a LONG time ago, which only makes it worse.Today one of her friends posted a recent photo of my first love on her facebook profile. With just a glance at it, I felt my chest tighten, and I immediately hid the picture from my view.Why does she still have such a powerful effect on me? We've not seen nor spoken to eachother for over a year now, and I have no desire to for fear of wanting to get back with her, which due to the distance and all the water under the bridge just can't and mustn't happen.How can I become a stronger man? I can't STILL be moping around every time on the rare occasion that I see a picture of her.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2009): Here's what you do: Contact your ex on Facebook -- Say, "Hey, I saw X post your picture. It reminded me of how nice (?) you were so I wanted to drop you a note." Add something like "I am doing x,y,z. Hope you're doing well!" Don't be needy, saying you miss her, etc. Instead, be happy, demonstrate that you're doing things, going places, headed in the right direction (hints: women find humor, achievement, and money very sexy.) Love is not for the faint of heart -- be a warrior!! Set up a strategy to get her back. It worked for me! You can do it! At least try, but be strategic about it. If she replies, say "hey, I got tickets to see X (a favorite band? or favorite movie actor/actress? or something she'd want to do that's freakin' fantastic), do you want to join me? I remember you always liked X." It will work. Trust me. Then have dinner and wine/beers or drinks (if legal?) beforehand. You'll be back in her arms! Good luck.
A
female
reader, Original shiraz! +, writes (13 June 2009):
Your first love will always have this ffect on you, thats why the whole 'first love' thing is so huge, they become part of who you become, they shape you from the start, how can you chop such a vital person from your life? Whatever went wrong how ever it ended she wont leave your life, she was your first and this is proven in the way your feeling, it wouldn feel this way if it werent true love. Let yourself learn from it, yet at the same time move on from it, itll cause you damage if you dont let go at some point. When you see a picture obviously you will react, you dont share a past with someone for it not to affect your future, little things will remind you of what it once was but at the same time more important things will remind you of what it should be. You become stronger without noticing it, theres no right or wrong way of doing it, its simply something that happens, we shape into diffeent people each day but we dont notice the change until a lot later on. You will get stronger, you already have, imgine back to when you had just split how gutted you were feeling how emotional you were all the time, ok the picture hurts but your holding it in because its had time to heal and youve had the time and space to grow, you just havent seen it yet. In time youll feel it, just hold out the long journey and itll all be worth it in the end, find yourself along the way become who you want for all the right reasons. Best of luck
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A
female
reader, Smellyellie +, writes (13 June 2009):
 I feel so sorry for you. You must if loved this girl so much to still be feeling these powerfull feelings for her.
I'm afraid no1 can help you with what you are feeling and no matter what any one says to you it is obviously not going to make any diffrence to the feelings that you have for her.
Try to go out more and meet new people preferably girls!! :) just take your mind off of her and maybe start dating again and you will fall in love again with another girl someday that will love you back. And just to make you feel better she wouldn't of forgotten you at all if you were her fast love.!!
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