A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So fed up and needing some advice, not criticism but some solid advice. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years, we got engaged 2 years ago now, I'm settled lovely in life, got a great job, 2 great kids, and a lovely semi detached. My children are not his, they are from a previous relationship. So recently I had to have a part of my womb removed, not the nicest thing on the planet to go through, after I was advised no sex until I was fully recovered which would be at least a month. So we went along with that but he has become a grumpy, overbearing person, now that I have healed he is constantly nagging me for sex, his sex drive has become over active and I find its pushing me away, I just don't feel like having sex, but when we do, he wants more, he's become expectant every night and goes in a huff if I say I don't want to. It's become repulsive how much he thinks about sex. Is it different for men and women? I don't really need alot of sex,it's like he needs sex for his own selfish gain, we don't kiss during sex,there isn't any let's concentrate on you, it's a 5 minute go and we're done. can I just add the emotional side and connected sides aren't there anymore, we rarely go out, we rarely hug, we don't do the soppy thing anymore and he's coming home grumpy every day and I feel responsible. Help anyone?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2014): There are two people in the relationship and you both need to decide what you can do to fix things from your end. To help him understand the issue, you need to tell him this, verbatim if you wish 'it's like you need sex for your own selfish gain, we don't kiss during sex,there isn't any let's concentrate on me, it's a 5 minute go and we're done. can I just add the emotional side and connected sides aren't there anymore, we rarely go out, we rarely hug, we don't do the soppy thing anymore and he's coming home grumpy every day and I feel responsible.'
From your end be outspoken about your needs.
Be accomodating of his needs, or see your doctor. It's worrying when you say 'I just don't feel like having sex.' Is this new / normal for you? Maybe you need to see a doctor.
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