A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I've been in this relationship with a single woman for 6 months, I'm unhapply married 30 years. It's getting harder with her when I leave to go home. She keeps saying she wants me to stay, that really makes me mad. Doesn't she realize I that it's hard for me too. How can I make her understand I still have an obligation at home. We have made plans to go away together for the weekend soon. I try to make as much time for her as I can but it's never enough. She says she just wants me to be happy. But I how can I be happy when she keeps making me feel guilty for leaving every time. I keep telling her just bare with me, careful what she wishes for but she just doesn't get it. Help me someone I really love this girl she's all I think about. I see her early in the morning after work even on sundays I'm lying all the time. It's almost too much now to keep everything straight at work, home, and even with her. Any advice would be helpful.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2009): I am also the "other woman"in a relationship.My hunny says that he loves me and we talk about our future together.I love this man so much and can not imagine my life with out him. He has been married 30 years and says that he does not love his wife anymore.However, when he admitted to his wife about the affair he did not leave but agreed to give the marriage another chance for a few months. he told me he was not ready to let me go but felt he owed her a second chance. I am left at home by myself crying every night over a man i want to spend the rest of my life with, but he is at home with his wife, spending the holidays with his wife, sleeping with his wife and I am alone with no one to talk to just waiting for a man that will never leave his wife. Make a choice, stay with your wife and let your girlfriend go or leave your wife but do not keep your girlfriend hanging on to something that will never happen.Be as gentle as possible with both woman when you do make your decision. I know this is the most painful experience I have ever felt. I guess you can say that I have learned my lesson.
A
female
reader, LisaE +, writes (18 January 2009):
I have been waiting for a question like this to be posed, since I have been the other woman in a relationship with a married man for 3 years now. For three years I have waited for him to leave home and for three years he has told me he will leave home one day. One day???? Tell me, will that day ever come? You being a married man involved in an affair should know in your heart whether you will ever be willing or able to leave your marriage for this other woman you claim to love. If you aren't going to do right by her, then be honest with yourself and with her and just let her go. My married man is unable to let go of me (as I am unable to let go of him), and let me tell you how much pain and guilt I have suffered over this for the last three years.
I totally agree with what MutantKitten said. You need to stop being unreasonable and greedy and stop thinking that she's being unreasonable and greedy. From my personal experiences of going through this myself, she probably can't understand why a man who says he loves her, wants to be with her and thinks about her all the time won't take the necessary steps to make that happen. Even though she knows you can't stay, that doesn't mean she doesn't want you to stay. Have you ever tried looking at this through her eyes? She's the one sleeping alone every night while you're in bed with your wife doing hell knows what with her. You think that makes for real sweet dreams???? Let me tell you, it doesn't.
So, please, I beg you, don't do to her what my married man has done to me. If you love her, want to be with her and think about her all the time, take the necessary steps to make that happen. If you aren't willing or able to take the necessary steps, then let her go so she can find the love and happiness she deserves from a full time partner. And do it quickly, because it gets harder each and every day.
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A
female
reader, MutantKitten  +, writes (18 January 2009):
 A) stop CHEATING on your wife. Fix the problems with your wife, see a therapist.
B) If you really loved this girl, you would want to be with her full time, not just on sunday mornings. Be honest with your wife and start a new one with this girl.
What she's asking isn't unreasonable. It's you who's being unreasonable and greedy. Ever heard you can't have your cake and eat it too? Pick what makes you happy in the long run, but lying, cheating, running around and hurting TWO women won't bring you that happiness.
It's both women in your life I feel sorry for, not you.
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