A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been reading everyone’s posts and I am new to this but it has helped me already and I feel my husband is not as bad as some. I have been married for 20 years and I have a daughter with cystic fibrosis. This has caused an immense strain on our marriage. We have left each other so many times I have now lost count. Reading your posts and thinking about my relationship, it seems to me that we will never change our men; they are who they are. My husband in particular hates confrontation and problems. As soon as I mention anything like that, he turns it all into my fault, I hate him some days but other days I love him. I often think he has become a habit I cannot give up, the person who posted about getting on with your life, do the things you want to do is right. As soon as I start to do my own thing after one of our out bursts he gives me more respect. Men like confident women. If I cry over something, he ignores me, or if I have a problem which I have had many, he tells me to get over it. Basically they won’t change. Take them as they are or not at all. Ps. thank you everyone for making me feel better. Reply to this Article
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female
reader, Ritasanyal  +, writes (10 July 2010):
There are HUSBANDS and then there are GIRLFRIENDS!!!
He can't play both roles you know
You should try to discuss your personal problem with close friends, sisters, mother or some significant member - like on this board :-)
You have left each other and yet manage to get together again and again - this tells me either you two love very much or afraid of the unknown have forced you to stay together.
I think your daughter's illness is taking its toll on you -mentally, phyisically, emotionally and financially - hang in there - everything comes to an end - good, bad or ugly
God bless
A
male
reader, mohanmahan  +, writes (8 July 2010):
First of all - a conflict of concepts. As far as it involves MALES as a category, I deny the idea - all are not the same. In front of my house - a lady left her 3 children (all below 10 years) just for freedom. She was promiscuous and when caught red handed, she hurried to depart with a threat that she has a favorable Indian Legal System which she would apply to her husband. Poor husband, yet un-divorced, is bound to upkeep all 3 children singly as he can't even remarry. DOES IT MEAN THAT ALL FEMALES ARE ALIKE ?
But I have empathy for you - your male partner(husband) is 100% to you, I know - how better other males perform is meaningless in your case. That's one part of story - that your husband is not easy with the life long stress of a handicap - and it's a male psyche. Even in their own body or mind - they can't tolerate too long. So that part (that YOU WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO CHANGE YOUR MAN) you rightly compromised.
But this problem has 2 aspects 1. to share your socio-economic and emotional overload (which he fails) 2. to share your otherwise well established love relation. Please solve the problems one by one. Find a friend (preferably female to avoid new uprisings) with similar problem to chat and ease out (Many organizations have a regular meet of similar parents.). This would relieve the distressful overtone from your marital relations.
Secondly, savior you personal passionate relations with husband totally aloof from this aspect of endless emotional overdue. WHEN EVERYTHING IS IN DANGER, REMNANTS ARE CALLED BENEFITS. So please don't spoil you passionate personal life - even with deepest remorse or fiercest fight you are not going to recover more. Then why to loss the least you have already? I hope I've been of any benefit to you - BEST OF LUCK !
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A
female
reader, kitty-cat=] +, writes (1 July 2010):
![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png) im sorry to hear about your daughter. maybe the two of you need a second honeymoon? or to renew your vowels, write your own so you know how you really feel about each other! do something romantic that he won't expect at ALL. like say your eating breakfast, "hey honey, do you want to go for a walk in the park? maybe we could have a picnic too!". if you keep it to were he doesn't know what you'll do next, he will be more and more fascinated with you and the relationship will never get boring. have him come home to little surprises too. a nice hot bath with a bunch of candles, the lights off, rose pedals, oh did i mention your in it waiting for him? lolhope you two work out, it isn't your fault. your strong enough to get over this :)
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A
female
reader, Mama B  +, writes (1 July 2010):
sister he's been going through it just like you the difference is that you know that its affecting you two, what i think YOU should do is try an spice up your lives if you've Never been kinky.. Now is the time!! a man can Never resist SEXY!! an Sweet, nd some time to do the special things you all did when ya first met, don't ever forget the special things that made you fall for him...
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