A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together a little over 7 months. In the beginning, everything was all great but now it seems like we're growing apart. Our conversations are filled with pauses (never used to happen) and it seems like lately he's been going out with everybody but me (i.e.: old friends and co-workers). We had a long talk and he said the change is only because he's exhausted from the long hours he works after school. But then he also said he was unsure about where our relationship was going because he didn't have as much time as he would like to spend with me and he doesn't want to hurt me. He also says he feels as I give in to him too easily and that he wishes I would stick up for myself more. He claims he still loves me, and things have gotten a little better but I can't help feeling that he's getting tired of being with me. Should I be worried?
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female
reader, On Cloud9  +, writes (23 September 2007):
 The pauses will inevitably happen on you part because you are worrying about your relationship and probably want to know what he is thinking all the time.
He will get those vibes from you and your lack of confidence will be so obvious. Of course thats not your fault and its only natural that you feel the way you do. Its hard work second guessing what people are thinking. Thats why you need to stop.
From my experience, guys like to be with more confident girls, and im NOT talking about the false confidence - i.e. being centre of attention all the time, but i mean the confidence that comes with being secure in your own life.
Think of 5 qualities that you posses,(5 things that you bring to the relationship) and if you have difficulty in doing this chances are you have low self esteem and might need to work on that.
My fiance used to be the same in the early days and I found that the less time I spent with him the more distant we got, so I would also suggest that you do go out with your boyfriend and his friends and get to know them better. Once he sees your happy, confident self he will instinctively see want to spend more time with you.
Its hard work keeping a relationship on track but nothing that is worth doing is easy x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2007): In my opinion I think you should be a little worried. It seems like something is unsettling him at the moment. Some of his comments perhaps imply that he might be a little bored in the relationship and he wants you to perhaps challenge him a little more. Get out there with him and his friends. If he is not happy about you tagging along, I think the two of you need to have a BIG talk about what is going on.
Good luck and do something fun and nice for yourself.
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