A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I just got dumped by a guy I really liked after less than a month. Things seemed great at first as we had a lot in common and our personalities really seemed to click. After two weeks he suddenly seemed distant, but when I asked if something was wrong he said he was just stressed. After that he didn't return my calls for two days then called to apologize and ask me out.We had a great date last weekend, he spent the night, and we had great sex (3 times!). We went out again on Thursday, but he wasn't very affectionate and he didn't spend the night as he had always done in the past. We had planned to get together today, but when I called to make plans he texted me back that he was too busy. I finally called him out and he told me over the phone that he really liked me as a friend but our personalities weren't compatible. How the hell can you have everything in common, great sex, and not want to date them? He said he think I'm really cool and likes hanging out with me, but...Why did he lead me on for so long, was it just for the sex? Why would a guy say he wanted to be friends if our personalities aren't compatible? What is wrong with me if I'm so fun to hang out with and good enough to have sex with? Is he just afraid of commitment? We have some religious differences but he said that wasn't the reason. What the hell?!
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female
reader, curious0hot +, writes (31 January 2010):
 Only he knows for sure. The point is he doesn't want to be with you. He was nice about it, and I think that you should respect his decision and move on.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (31 January 2010):
It could have been just for sex, or you could have been a rebound. Either way, keep him out of your life.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2010): Coincidentally, I just broke up with a guy and told him it was because I thought our personalities weren't compatible. I'll tell you what I meant, though it could be completely different for him.
Sometimes it takes about a month of trying out a relationship with someone to realise it wouldn't work in the long run. I could tell after a month with this guy that we would start to irritate each other a lot over time. We hadn't yet, but it was obvious to me that some aspects of our personalities would eventually clash. It's possible that this guy hadn't quite been being himself with you. Not in a conscious way, maybe something like so far he'd been spending all his spare time with you, which is what you want, but he actually really needs his personal space sometimes. It could be anything really. There's nothing wrong with you, incompatibilities are subtle and are about how well the two of you work together.
Has he been hurt by someone recently? That could have caused him to freak out just at the point where he could be developing feelings for you. If you can't stop wondering about it, ask him for some clarification!
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