A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:As my friend Ashley said this instead of a love triangle this is a love rectangle: Kate is my best and roommate. On her boyfriend of five years, Tim's 21st birthday another one of our friends, Dave, told her that he was falling in love with her. In an effort to not make things uncomfortable for everyone she tried to just be nice about it and stay friends with him. She was constantly sending me to make sure he was okay and to talk to him. Well as you may guess Dave and I became very close...and of course I ended up falling for him. Things are just confusing. I know that he has very strong feelings for her, but I'm not sure what his feelings for me are. People constantly think that we are a couple and make comments about it, he tells me he is a "very confused boy," one night had I not walked away he would have kissed me, his ex-girlfriend is under the impression that I had something to do with why they broke up...basically in general he sends me mixed signals and I just don't know what to think. Both Dave and Kate know that I have feelings for him. Kate has developed feelings for him as well (which her boyfriend Tim knows), and continues to talk to him and emotionally cheat on her Tim with Dave. She is going to end up hurting Dave in the end because she won't change anything. We have one year left at school, and Dave just graduated and will be away at law school. It is getting harder and harder for me to watcch this go on. I have told her that she can't let things continue this way, that she is being unfair to her boyfriend and to Dave. What do I do? What can I do?
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female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (30 May 2008):
 Sounds to me that she is subconsciously jealous. She doesnt want him but likes the fact that he is in love with her and you are taking this away from her. So by sending him mixed messages she is confusing him and stopping him moving on fully to you. He needs to get away from her and if he has graduated already this might make things easier, maybe you need to distance yourself from her too for a while and refuse to act as a go between. Concentrate on Dave for a while as unfortunately friends come and go but you may be losing out on the love of your life. x
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (30 May 2008):
 You can only control what you do. If this guy Dave loves YOU, and you love HIM, then it should be easy for you to decide what to do.
If your friend loves her boyfriend, it should also be a no-brainer.
All this takes is a little courage. If Dave wants you and you him, that's all that matters. You can pursue your own interests. If he won't, I suggest you get out of that rectangle.
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