A
female
age
30-35,
*llineedistime
writes:I'm so upset. My best guy friend and I talk all the time, and he's in a rough spot with his girlfriend right now so I've pretty much become his crutch for the time being. I'm the person he goes to to talk when his girlfriend is mad or whatever. I try to be very understanding because I know what he is going through, but I can't help but feel a little used up when he tells me stuff like "She doesn't like that we talk so much but I don't care because I finally have someone to talk to who understands" and at the same time it makes me happy because I wanna be there for him, but also... I don't know. The truth is that I envy his girlfriend very much. He's a great guy and I don't see how she can't completely appreciate that. If I could be in her spot I would in a heartbeat. So it does kind of hurt my feelings when I am talking to him and she calls so they can fight some more and he has to leave and doesn't call me back for hours. I feel so selfish but I can't help but feel this way. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2009): Heh. I'm basically the older, male version of you. I too have a close female friend who I have feelings for with a bf she tells me everything about, incl. her insecurities about her relationship. Truth is there's nothing that can be done about it other than meeting someone else. If he's with her, then that's pretty much it. Maybe if they break up, perhaps something could happen between the two of you, but other than that...
I think the best mentality to have is this - that you'll likely be part of his life for a lot longer than she is. Girlfriends (perticualrly during the teenage years) come and go. Friendships can be maintained indefinitely. So chances are you two will still be close when she is a dim and distant memory.
P.S. Remember - there are tons of other guys out there.
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