A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,Everyday I feel more and more underapperciated by the people around me. I am the one always inviting people over, Cooking the meals, planning events, etc. lately, I have asked others to bring a dish and a six pack to share to my musicans jams and my get togethers. I told them I am just not doing it all anymore. I told the friends from seperate families to bring these things several times. They show up with nothing. I am just really sick of it. They never invite us over, plan events with us, or etc. I am just sick of being surrounded by people who don't return the favor or at least pitch in and help or bring something. How do I deal with exsisting friends and how do I find better friends will in trade have us over for dinner parties, potlucks, or just a night with bring beer to share and games? i am just sick of being eveyones sponsor. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Yogananda  +, writes (7 February 2011):
 A guy goes to the doctor and says... doctor when I raise my hand hurts, what should I do? the doctor answers "dont raise your hand".
If u going to be the one doing the favors for others, the best medicine is to do it without expectations, if u have them, then you will suffer. 'Cause there is nothing u can do to change people, u can also invite them over and do nothing at all on the food or drinks, let them resolve that when they show up, they can call in pizza, or run to 7/11 for drinks, or change fully, do something else.
A
female
reader, amandab  +, writes (6 February 2011):
hi, this is not a nice situation to be in. all relationships need working at, friends lovers family. and these relationships should be two way. what are you getting out of this other than feeling used?
these people are not true friends they are playing on your good nature. it sounds to me that you are lacking in self worth and need to build up this first, how do you do this. start by cleaning out your life. which friends do you want to keep? which do you want to get rid of? sometimes we have to do this in our life. declutter your life, look at it like a wardrobe, dont wear that dress anymore, doesnt fit, get rid. once you have rid of the baggage work on the true friends the ones who bring you joy as well. learn new skills, go to self help groups, counselling, explore your own mind,back to college, night school, once you value yourself, others will value you.
good luck
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