A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend and i have been dating for almost 2 years. It was my birthday 2 months ago, and he didnt get me any present. Money is not an issue as he spends exuberantly on himself. i told him that it hurt me that i didnt receive anything,that he did not even try. he got angry he said he considered our relationship above and beyond such gifts.i dont want to make him feel guilty but it feels like hell when he cant even spare a thought for me. i always plan months ahead for his birthday, give him anything he tells me he likes, make him hand made presents is some cases. i dont know why, i just cant get my head around this.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (18 December 2010):
 He's not a good man. This says it all: "i told him that it hurt me that i didnt receive anything,that he did not even try. he got angry"
You got hurt. And he gets mad because you got hurt by his insensitiveness and lack of care for you. It reflects only on himself. He makes a bad move and isn't taking care of you, then he wants to deny you the right to be upset about how poorly he treats you.
He is not a good man. A good man could have not given you a gift, but would have apologized and made sure to always give you gifts afterwards because now he knows how much it means to you, and he would be more than happy for this opportunity to show you how much he cares. Your boyfriend has shown you how much he cares about you... and it's not much. Its hurtful. And he doesn't even give you permission to get hurt. It's not right and you know it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2010): I dated a guy like him. I sometimes still feel incredibly stupid thinking how much money I spent on his lame ass. He equaled my love with how much i was willing to spend. He paid with sex and kisses and romantic gestures. But its over lesson learned. Move on, they don't change but you can learn from this experience. My new guy and I on the same page and *budget* love always gets better with a new partner :) good luck!!!
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A
female
reader, Wntmyfamily  +, writes (18 December 2010):
Did he get you something the first year? Maybe he forgot and doesn't want to tell you! But you have the right to feel however you like! Make sure you tell him it's not the gift but the thought that your looking for. You want to know he cares about and thinks about you. Also if he don't come up with a gift or a sorry don't get him nothing for his bday. Let him know how it feels.
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A
female
reader, yvonica +, writes (18 December 2010):
 Well since he spends so much on himself he should be buying you a gift. Your not wrong for wanting one and feeling like hell. You care more than what he does in this relationship it looks like. From past experiance I've had an ex who was the same way... he never gave me presents... but would lavish himself with gifts and buy himself nice things... he wouldn't even buy his daughter nice things. Then he went ahead and made me feel guilty for complaining about him not giving me any thing like I'm I'm some kind of gold digger. I never asked for anything until christmas. It could have been a poem... a little teddy bear I don't care it was the effort that counts to me.
Truth is maybe the guy your with is just very selfish. If he really loved you he would try his best to make you happy. Even if he doesn't believe in gifts which I think is an excuse.
Ask your self how far does this selfishness go? Is it consisitant?
With my ex it was... I was on my death bed and he didn't care he was only concerned about himself and what he wanted. That's when I realized that this guy does not love me.
Your boyfriend could just be making excuses for forgetting to give you a gift... or it could be that he just doesn't care.
I'm just one advice. I'm pretty sure other peoples advice will help out as well. I'm just going by experiance. I hope I helped.
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A
female
reader, Brooklyngirl +, writes (18 December 2010):
 I would be upset too! It seems pretty selfish and inconsiderate to me!
Ask yourself, "Do I want to spend the rest of my life with someone who treats me this way?" If the answer is No, then you need to reevaluate the relationship and perhaps move on to someone who will think enough of you to celebrate the special moments in your life.
Chances are this guy won't change! "Above and beyond such gifts??" That's a cop-out!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2010): ask yourself if in the past he has bought you gift wheather on your birthday or just because you said you liked something, well if he used to then things are changing for worse, dont only think about the fact that talking to him about it would make him feel guilty he should also consider the fact that he hurt you by that act. A birthday is a big deal if he cant get you presents then when will he. Talk with him and if he never used to get you presents then it shows he doesnt care if he spends so much on himself and not passing the gifts to you too
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2010): I dated a guy like him. I sometimes still feel incredibly stupid thinking how much money I spent on his lame ass. He equaled my love with how much i was willing to spend. He paid with sex and kisses and romantic gestures. But its over lesson learned. Move on, they don't change but you can learn from this experience. My new guy and I on the same page and *budget* love always gets better with a new partner :) good luck!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2010): Well, it wasn't very nice of him not to get you a gift, but the most significant aspect of your story is that he got angry when you told him that you were hurt by it.
Is he as inconsiderate about your feelings in other areas of your relationship?
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