A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I am 24 years old and in a relationship with a man for 9 months,he keeps me very happy and he's head over heels in love with me,I like him too but as superficial as this sounds I always wanted my man to dress smart wear nice watches,belts..my boyfriend lacks this.. I care a lot about appearance I make an effort with clothes,dressing up for him..he tries too but I don't like it..probably I can't overlook it and I don't have the heart to tell my boyfriend this is why I can't be with youWhat do I do? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2014): Haven't you considered that he simply might be happy to have you suggest things for him 'cos he's a bit clueless? My long term partner literally used to dress like a tramp because he had a very self-sacrificing mother who also expected them to only wear hand-me-downs and second hand clothes. He would just wear anything, including anything that anyone gave him. He also seemed to have no sense of what the clothes looked like ON HIM, rather than just being (in his mind) really 'interesting' items and objects (!!) Now he knows how to pick out great classic clothes and mix this with more trendy stuff - it just took some discussion about things like 'clean lines' and 'well made' things and 'detail'. I didn't go overboard, it was just a lot of interesting discussions and once he 'saw' the difference he was over the moon and realised he'd been dressing like a crazy person. He's really proud of his ability to choose now and of how he looks. It's not necessarily superficial if you are really interested in all that stuff.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2014): Some people are just too different, OP.
I live by the concept that if you feel you need to change someone to be with them then they're not right for you.
OP it's just one of those things you thought you could overlook going into the relationship but actually is a deal breaker because we dress to suit our personality and it's not just a matter of his dress sense but the attitude that goes with the style you like that he's probably missing.
Both my wife and my styles changed over the years as we went from college students to professional couple and I tried on my first custom tailored suit but it was an organic change for us and neither of us care about style in the way you do, it's just marketing nonsense.
Don't feel bad OP, if it's important to you then it's not just a superficial thing. No one has any right to judge you based on what you prioritise in life, we all have different views.
"he's head over heels in love with me,I like him too"
Says it all really, OP, it's not really anything to with what he wears, you're just not in love with him and even if he did change his style to suit your type he'd look a fish out of water without the attitude to match. Basically it sounds like you like the guy and he'd be perfect for you if you could just change him somehow, but you know that doesn't happen.
...............................
A
female
reader, Foot-In-My-Mouth  +, writes (2 January 2014):
 You want to end the relationship because of the way he dresses? Yes, I think you should go ahead and break up. He deserves better!
...............................
A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (2 January 2014):
 He tries to dress up nice for you but you don't like it?? Why would you break up with him over that? Is he open to your input about his style, as many guys are?
If you can't accept him the way he is, you should let him go free to be with someone who finds him attractive without trying to change him into someone else. At least he is trying, and some people just don't have innate fashion sense.
Unless he is totally okay with letting you hone his style, then you might have to go separate ways. It's a pity too - personally I find the whole blue collar with the blue jeans look hot as hell! There was a diet Coke commercial some years back that had a guy doing window cleaning all scruffy and stuff, OMG his ass was a cherry bomb! AHEM...I digress.
...............................
|
