A
female
age
36-40,
BITCH72
writes:Isn't being in love a choice and not a feeling. To me it's about everything you do and have shared with that person. I want to know if i can control the love of my life and my partner for almost 20 years from leaving our life together even after she has cheated on me with her first love and says she is in love with her and just loves me and care about me. I an so heart broken over all of this. Please help me.
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female
reader, Fade878  +, writes (13 October 2007):
 That you use the word CONTROL- leaves me to believe that many you are controlling.
No one wants to be with someone who restrict their freedom to be who they are and enjoy life. No one wants to be with some who does not allow for them to make mistakes and know they will be forgiving. No one wants to be with someone who is overly needy, selfish, and insecure.
It is a fact that because we each have the gift of free agency-how others choose to excercise it, sometimes effects in ways that bring us heartache.
Hurt, mourn, accept and work to heal, forgive, let go, and move on.
A
female
reader, Fade878 +, writes (13 October 2007):
Love is an emotion you choose to feel and it is also an action-you show love in how you act, how you choose to express it.
Love in it's purity, elevates one-it's honest and brings happiness and peace.
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A
female
reader, leanne.od  +, writes (13 October 2007):
 You can't control anyone. what are you, an emotional bully? she has fallen out of love with you. you need to get over it and move on. you can't change her mind, she loves someone else and absolutely nothing you do will change her mind back.
yes 20 years is a long time but she obviously doesn't feel the same for you like she used to and NO love isn't choice, you can't help who you fall in love with. You heartbreak will go, after time. holding on to false hope that you can force her to stay after she has been honest and told you it's over will do no good to you and will make the process twenty times worse.
let her go and move on.
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